[00:00:00] The Patriot Act, turning citizens into suspects since 2001. The Kate Dalley Show starts now. It's gonna be Father's Day. Yeah. Right? I mean Mother's Day, I get. I mean the mothers, they give birth to us, but Father's Day...
[00:00:27] It's weird, and I have a lot of kids, and I say a lot because I don't know the real number. And it feels like a holiday that's kind of an afterthought.
[00:00:36] Mother's Day, alright, I guess we should do something for that guy that on his one day off goes golfing. Maybe we'll have a barbecue for him. It's just, it's weird. Even the gifts, right? I mean, a tie. We give dads ties. What is this, 1950? Yeah.
[00:00:53] It's like, it's just a silk noose, right? You gotta love Gaffigan. Anyway, welcome to the Kate Dalley Show on a Friday. And of course, I had Katherine Engelbrecht in the first hour. We talked about voting and then turning the tide over to fathers and men.
[00:01:13] And I'm sure you have a lot to say. What are your viewpoints? We've done some fiery shows this week about lady face. I love that. About men and women and what's kind of happening with men and women. And I always feel like men are being discredited so heavily.
[00:01:33] And it's really, it's sad. I think that's a really tough thing because there's so, there's such a necessity. Okay. And I honor you good men out there. And if you have, maybe you are an influence in kids' lives somewhere.
[00:01:50] Maybe you don't have your own, but you're an influence. Or maybe you have your own and this is a show you can learn something. And we can all learn something from the show today as I play through some clips. But I'm also going to take your calls.
[00:02:02] What has your dad said to you that has affected your life or has done for you or has taught you that has affected you? Because I know, I know for a fact that it plays a prominent role in our lives. Right? A definite prominent role.
[00:02:18] And I feel like men have been under attack for so long. And it's a rarity now that women actually speak up about it on the air and media. It's a certain rarity and that shouldn't be. Why is that? That's insane.
[00:02:37] You know, my husband is the leader of our home. That's his role. He, that's what I, you know, I think he was born for that role. And so I think women in a little bit of more humility need to address this problem going on
[00:02:54] because I feel like men are feeling the fact that why am I here? If you're just going to do all of it, why am I here? And I think that we kind of need to get back to what's important and really what makes us thrive and succeed. Right?
[00:03:10] As littles, as kids as we call them. And so I'm going to play a couple of clips for you. Number one, I wanted to play why dinner is so important. And I thought this was really fascinating. Just listen to this clip by Dr. Warren Ferrell.
[00:03:27] He talks about why it's really, really important to have a dinner table meeting, of course, every night with your family. And he says what to do and what not to do. And this is really, really important information. Here we go.
[00:03:41] We do know that there is, that children that have dinner with their families do better. However, there's two types of family dinner nights. And one of them is a family dinner night that evolves into a family dinner nightmare.
[00:03:54] And it often starts with the children bringing electronics to the table. And the children are resentful a little bit about having to drop those electronics. But the dynamic behind it is oftentimes when the children start talking,
[00:04:07] the parents sort of say, well, you know, you could do this problem you had. You can solve it this way. Why are you talking about somebody taking drugs? That's terrible to take drugs. Drinking alcohol, swearing, doing this and that.
[00:04:20] And the children know that family dinner night is going to lead to a family dinner lecture. So their enthusiasm for it is much less than it is for electronics. And so the, but the family dinner night, without it becoming a family dinner nightmare, looks something like this.
[00:04:36] First is understanding that your job as a parent is to make sure that there is a lot of listening going on. And that listening means that when the children talk, that you don't interrupt. That you just hear them out.
[00:04:52] That you don't look at them with eyes of consternation and that's a problem. And why are you saying that? And oh boy, I'm going to, as soon as I can do that, I'm going to interrupt you and give you the right answer to the question.
[00:05:03] You let children just be heard. But parents who are good at letting children just be heard are usually parents who are high on the empathy scale. And being high on the empathy scale often produces children that are not empathetic.
[00:05:19] Because those children are not being required when dad and mom talk, to listen to dad and mom in the same way that they were listened to by dad and mom. If the only thing that's happening at the family dinner night is dads and moms listening to children,
[00:05:37] children become more self-centered. And a teacher that has thought about this will often notice that parent teacher night will often lead to the children in her class who are most empathetic will often be with parents who are quite requiring a lot of their children to also hear them
[00:06:00] and to consider their sisters and brothers feelings. So it's so important that empathy not become a one-way street because the result will be self-centeredness. Did you guys ever realize that? Do you agree with that? Do you disagree? 888-673-1450 is the studio line.
[00:06:19] 888-673-1450 if you're listening to us in the afternoon live. 888-673-1450. Do you agree? 888-673-1450. You know, it makes sense though, doesn't it? It can't be all one way. There are parents that let the kids kind of run the family, right?
[00:06:47] Everything's around the kids, the kids, the kids, the kids. And I don't agree with that. I think it needs to be mom and dad first, the relationship first. And I also think that that two-way street is really vital.
[00:07:00] You're talking, you're listening to your kids and you're hearing them out and they feel heard. And that's good, right? No one wants to just be lectured to all the time. But then on that same note, they need to listen to you too.
[00:07:12] And that tide needs to turn so you're not raising narcissists. Hi, caller. Welcome to the show. Go right ahead. Hey, this is a great topic. Thank you. I'm sure there's tons of opinions out there, but the commenter that you just put on,
[00:07:32] there's a lot of truth to what he said and to what you said earlier. You know, moms are typically very empathetic. Fathers are more disciplinarian. And I think our children need both. They do.
[00:07:51] You know, what he was sitting there talking about that we need to listen and it teaches our children empathy. And then he turned around and said, but we can't just have that because then they won't have any empathy because they won't respect our time. Exactly.
[00:08:08] It's all about them. Bingo. And one of the most important things that I feel like I have taught my children over the years was respect for their mother. Awesome. That's perfect. I really, I applaud that. I'm so glad. So glad to hear that. Thank you.
[00:08:27] Well, and it's something that our kids will see and learn more from what we do than from what we say. Yeah, you're exactly right. One of the things that I take from my father and what he taught me was how to serve other people.
[00:08:48] There were always service projects and always helping neighbors and doing that kind of thing. And I can see that in myself today. And I've tried to teach my children that over the years.
[00:09:01] And the other, you know, kids that aren't my children that felt like they were my children the same way was just trying to do good in the world and looking out for other people. Thank you. That's how we need to build character in our young people.
[00:09:17] Yes. Oh, thank you so much. I love your phone call. Thank you. That was great. Really. What has your dad said to you, taught you that's affected your life?
[00:09:26] And, you know, mine taught me and still to this day, probably, I'm sure, teaching me stick to your word, character.
[00:09:37] You know, it's the it's the he did the daily grind very well as far as going to work, making sure that he provided for our family and taking on that responsibility. And and I I'll tell you something, you know, our generation and probably older.
[00:09:52] OK, we go, hey, we're not so bad, but we had the disciplinarian fathers, right? The father that was going to get out the belt, you know, I mean, it was that looming threat. Right. Or, you know, it was the disciplinarian. Right.
[00:10:05] When the dad came home and that was it. Right. We didn't turn out so bad, did we? I mean, you have I think we've softened up a lot and I don't know that that's actually helped us. Are we are we softer now for it, for these new generations?
[00:10:19] Because I look back at our generation and older and I'm thinking, you know, we're not all that bad. And it's so funny to me how we always try to reinvent parenting all the time, how we try to take it in a new direction.
[00:10:34] Progressiveness, you know, and I don't know if progressiveness has worked. In fact, I'm pretty sure it hasn't, because now we have kids that are so soft. I mean, we're making play dates for our kids instead of just letting them play.
[00:10:46] Right. Or we're kind of hovering and helicoptering and and every little feeling and every little, you know, every little thing gets discussed. You know, and when I was growing up, we didn't do that. I mean, it was just your parents were there.
[00:11:00] I knew I was loved and I was taught about God and it was so vital in my life. Right. And I'm so thankful for that. I can't imagine not being taught about God. Right. Because that has truly been the source of peace and happiness in my life.
[00:11:17] So without that piece, I don't know what I would have been like. But looking back, you know, I had a good dad and and it was the disciplinarian, more of a quiet, quiet guy. But there and present and took a shooting and took us on vacations.
[00:11:36] And and and my my parents were very good that way. And so I was lucky, I guess. And I know people aren't lucky, too. So I can understand that. But how did you overcome that? That's what I want to know.
[00:11:48] Are you different? Are you better? Hi, caller. Welcome to the show. Go right ahead. OK, so quick. Same day voter registration. Anybody still have that same day vote?
[00:12:00] I don't I don't know. Yeah. Well, if they get somewhere, that's that's that's an assault on the civil rights of every legitimate voter.
[00:12:11] It's horrible. Yeah. OK. Well, I got to I got to sign off now because my dad's going to cuff me upside the back of the head. OK, thanks. I'm sure there was a lot of that, too.
[00:12:24] Look, I know everybody didn't have a positive experience or had a positive experience. I don't know. But I all know you have something to share about it.
[00:12:33] And and I think that we should all kind of reflect what can we do better, what what can we grasp and then also stop reinventing it and thinking that in the name of progress, it's going to be better because I'm not noticing that.
[00:12:50] I'm not noticing that it's much better. Be right back. And I'll take your phone calls. Be right back.