[00:00:02] [SPEAKER_04]: Today's topic is Kirby Anderson.
[00:00:27] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so glad you're here with me because we have got a great lineup, many guests that
[00:00:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm excited to speak with.
[00:00:34] [SPEAKER_00]: Later this hour we will have Jay Louder, an evangelist who talks about mental health
[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_00]: and the issue of suicide.
[00:00:40] [SPEAKER_00]: It is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.
[00:00:43] [SPEAKER_00]: He also has an incredible testimony to share.
[00:00:45] [SPEAKER_00]: You won't want to miss that.
[00:00:47] [SPEAKER_00]: In the next hour I will be interviewing Andrea Crum who is a mom and an
[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_00]: apologist.
[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_00]: She'll be in studio with me talking about her recent book, Christ over Culture Raising
[00:00:57] [SPEAKER_00]: Christian Kids in a Postmodern World.
[00:01:00] [SPEAKER_00]: And then later in the show we'll cover other issues and articles that you may want to
[00:01:03] [SPEAKER_00]: be aware of as well.
[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_00]: But right now we are turning to our first guest, Dr. Brad Wilcox.
[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_00]: He's the director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia.
[00:01:13] [SPEAKER_00]: He's the future of Freedom Fellow at the Institute for Family Studies and a senior
[00:01:18] [SPEAKER_00]: fellow with the American Enterprise Institute.
[00:01:21] [SPEAKER_00]: He's the author or editor of six books including his most recent book which we're talking
[00:01:26] [SPEAKER_00]: about today, Get Married, Why Americans Shoulded Fy the Elites, Forward Strong Families
[00:01:31] [SPEAKER_00]: and Save Civilization.
[00:01:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I've read this book.
[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm so excited to have Dr. Wilcox on the show today.
[00:01:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Thank you for joining me Dr. Wilcox.
[00:01:39] [SPEAKER_06]: Liberty it's great to be here today.
[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_00]: So I know that in your introduction you talk about why you wrote this book and you actually
[00:01:47] [SPEAKER_00]: say that fixing what Ales America starts with renewing marriage and family life, especially
[00:01:53] [SPEAKER_00]: in poor and working class communities where the fabric of family life is weakest.
[00:01:58] [SPEAKER_00]: So I want you to tell us a little bit more about your motivation behind this book
[00:02:02] [SPEAKER_00]: specifically why is marriage the answer to so much, so many of the problems that
[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_00]: we see in America today.
[00:02:11] [SPEAKER_06]: Well you know I've got both a personal and professional motivation here.
[00:02:15] [SPEAKER_06]: I was raised by a single mom and really kind of came to believe as a college student that
[00:02:19] [SPEAKER_06]: marriage was key to kind of connecting dads to their kids.
[00:02:23] [SPEAKER_06]: So that's sort of part of my motivation for doing this book but also I teach at the
[00:02:28] [SPEAKER_06]: University of Virginia and Thomas Jefferson who founded UVA is famous for a lot of
[00:02:33] [SPEAKER_06]: things but especially I think that phrase in the declaration about the importance of
[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_06]: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_06]: As you kind of look at the research that's being done that we see as it comes to things
[00:02:45] [SPEAKER_06]: like the spirit of America and when it comes to the pursuit of happiness for instance
[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_06]: in America there's a lot of new research kind of telling us that the number one factor
[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_06]: here that's driving these outcomes is marriage.
[00:03:00] [SPEAKER_06]: So for instance there's a recent piece of research by Jonathan Rothwell and he's
[00:03:06] [SPEAKER_06]: economist at Brookings and what he found was that when you look at which parts of the
[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_06]: country liberty are more likely to be suffering these deaths of despair.
[00:03:16] [SPEAKER_06]: We're talking about things like suicide, drug overdoses and alcohol poisoning.
[00:03:23] [SPEAKER_06]: What he found was that marriage was the biggest predictor.
[00:03:25] [SPEAKER_06]: This is where there's less marriage that's more deaths of despair.
[00:03:29] [SPEAKER_06]: There's a new study from Chicago just telling us that there's been both a decline in
[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_06]: happiness in America and that again the number one factor that accounts for this
[00:03:39] [SPEAKER_06]: decline in happiness is the fact that fewer Americans are both getting married
[00:03:45] [SPEAKER_06]: and staying married. It just kind of tells us that some core aspects of the
[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_06]: American dream in terms of both happiness and in terms of just living a
[00:03:54] [SPEAKER_06]: life well lived are connected to what's happening in our home.
[00:03:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Wow and that's why I loved your book when I read it because I feel like you
[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_00]: present so much of that information of the evidence and the research in a
[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_00]: palatable way for people to be able to understand.
[00:04:12] [SPEAKER_00]: So as probably not a surprise to many point of view listeners your book again
[00:04:17] [SPEAKER_00]: lays out the argument that marriage is good for people and good for societies
[00:04:21] [SPEAKER_00]: but that is not the perception that so many of us have.
[00:04:25] [SPEAKER_00]: I thought it was so interesting that you talk about how the vast majority
[00:04:29] [SPEAKER_00]: of parents would agree that making sure their kids are financially stable when
[00:04:34] [SPEAKER_00]: they're adults or have careers they enjoy are important but very few actually
[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_00]: think that marriage down the line is important for their kids future so why
[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_00]: is our perception so off from reality on this?
[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_06]: Yeah I think part of the challenge today liberty is that you know we live
[00:04:52] [SPEAKER_06]: in a competitive world where getting into the right college and getting the
[00:04:57] [SPEAKER_06]: job you'd like to get and affording the home he'd like to afford these things
[00:05:01] [SPEAKER_06]: are all I think in many ways more challenging for today's Americans.
[00:05:07] [SPEAKER_06]: But I think there's also to a piece where you know social media is kind of
[00:05:11] [SPEAKER_06]: giving people a false impression of what's really important.
[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_06]: And they're kind of looking at you know a certain Instagram feed or
[00:05:18] [SPEAKER_06]: they're looking at you know some person on Twitter and they're seeing
[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_06]: them doing things you know travel the right house the car whatever
[00:05:27] [SPEAKER_06]: be that look to be you know really super important you know to them and
[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_06]: they're kind of missing the more fundamental point that is that we know
[00:05:37] [SPEAKER_06]: from my research and the research of others that our family relationships
[00:05:41] [SPEAKER_06]: and our friendships are communities are way more important to our ability
[00:05:45] [SPEAKER_06]: to thrive than how much money is in our bank account of a kind of career
[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_06]: that we you know are pursuing.
[00:05:51] [SPEAKER_06]: And so my book is just kind of helping people to understand and
[00:05:54] [SPEAKER_06]: appreciate that marriage and family you know end up being the most
[00:05:58] [SPEAKER_06]: important thing for most Americans and for most of us.
[00:06:02] [SPEAKER_06]: And then given that how is that we can go about forging a strong
[00:06:07] [SPEAKER_06]: and unstable marriage to kind of last us and our kids a lifetime.
[00:06:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Right so we've only got a couple of minutes before the break but I did
[00:06:14] [SPEAKER_00]: want to ask you one question before we go to that break.
[00:06:17] [SPEAKER_00]: The current state of marriage isn't actually as bad as some people
[00:06:21] [SPEAKER_00]: might think in terms of divorce rates but the future of marriage in
[00:06:25] [SPEAKER_00]: terms of how many people are actually getting married that's kind of
[00:06:29] [SPEAKER_00]: the issue or the place of concern am I right on that.
[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_06]: Yes I've got bad news and good news to report in the book and the bad
[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_06]: news is that marriage is harder I think for adults to get into today
[00:06:40] [SPEAKER_06]: and so I think a lot of our younger adults are going to have
[00:06:42] [SPEAKER_06]: difficulty challenges and when you think about helping them navigate
[00:06:46] [SPEAKER_06]: you know dating today and kind of even where they live you know
[00:06:49] [SPEAKER_06]: I think being aware of like you know are there are prospects
[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_06]: some parts of the country are better to move to the Mary but the good
[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_06]: news that report is that as marriage has become more selective
[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_06]: people become more careful about getting married we're actually
[00:07:02] [SPEAKER_06]: seeing divorce come down and so the older concern that one in
[00:07:06] [SPEAKER_06]: two marriages and in divorce is no longer accurate about 40% of
[00:07:10] [SPEAKER_06]: marriages and divorce but to put that more positively most
[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_06]: marriages go the distance that's particularly true for Americans
[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_06]: who are going to church together as a couple they have
[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_06]: more clearly lower divorce rates themselves.
[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_00]: That's so fascinating and later on in the interview I do want to
[00:07:24] [SPEAKER_00]: ask you a few questions about who marriage is working for because
[00:07:28] [SPEAKER_00]: you do break that down in your book there are four groups
[00:07:31] [SPEAKER_00]: that may surprise people that you call masters of marriage you
[00:07:35] [SPEAKER_00]: want to give us a preview of those four groups real quick
[00:07:38] [SPEAKER_00]: and then we'll dive into them more later.
[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_06]: Sure they're Asian Americans, conservative Americans,
[00:07:43] [SPEAKER_06]: college educated Americans and then the group that I call
[00:07:46] [SPEAKER_06]: the safe for religious Americans those four groups are
[00:07:48] [SPEAKER_06]: doing better on the marriage front today.
[00:07:51] [SPEAKER_00]: So when we come back from our break in a few minutes we will
[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_00]: discuss more about why marriage is working for those groups
[00:07:57] [SPEAKER_00]: and if you're just now tuning in this is Liberty McArthur I'm
[00:08:00] [SPEAKER_00]: filling in on point of view for Kirby Anderson today and my
[00:08:03] [SPEAKER_00]: first guess that I'm in the middle of interviewing is
[00:08:06] [SPEAKER_00]: Dr. Brad Wilcox we were talking about his recent book
[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Get Married and so if you have seen in your own life
[00:08:15] [SPEAKER_00]: maybe in your own circles that people are struggling to find
[00:08:18] [SPEAKER_00]: it those partners they're struggling to get married or
[00:08:21] [SPEAKER_00]: maybe you've seen a negative attitude toward marriage in
[00:08:24] [SPEAKER_00]: the culture and you want a tool to be able to address that to
[00:08:27] [SPEAKER_00]: be able to pass on to people that you know please keep
[00:08:30] [SPEAKER_00]: listening because right after these breaks right after this
[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_00]: break we're going to be continuing to talk with Dr.
[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_00]: Wilcox about his book Get Married so don't go anywhere
[00:08:39] [SPEAKER_00]: stay right with us.
[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_04]: This is Viewpoints with Kirby Anderson.
[00:09:02] [SPEAKER_01]: Political campaigns become intense after Labor Day you will
[00:09:05] [SPEAKER_01]: need wisdom and discernment to evaluate the numerous proposals
[00:09:09] [SPEAKER_01]: because much of the mainstream media doesn't evaluate
[00:09:12] [SPEAKER_01]: counter proposals with the same objectivity. Here are two
[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_01]: examples. In June Donald Trump announced a proposal to end taxes
[00:09:19] [SPEAKER_01]: on tips for service and hospitality workers. At the
[00:09:22] [SPEAKER_01]: time CBS News reported former President Donald Trump's vow to
[00:09:26] [SPEAKER_01]: stop taxing tips would cost the federal government up to
[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_01]: $250 billion over 10 years according to a nonpartisan
[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_01]: watchdog group. In August Kamala Harris made a similar proposal.
[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_01]: How did CBS report that announcement? They said Vice
[00:09:40] [SPEAKER_01]: President Kamala Harris is rolling out a new policy
[00:09:43] [SPEAKER_01]: position saying she'll fight to end taxes on tips for
[00:09:47] [SPEAKER_01]: service and hospitality workers. As far as I can tell
[00:09:50] [SPEAKER_01]: there was no mention of the cost there was a discussion
[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_01]: of whether he or she came up with the proposal first
[00:09:56] [SPEAKER_01]: consider the contrast in how the media covered the idea
[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_01]: of a child tax credit. When Senator J.D. Vance proposed
[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_01]: a $5,000 child tax credit it was usually linked with a claim
[00:10:07] [SPEAKER_01]: from a tax foundation that it would cost about $3 trillion
[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_01]: over 10 years. By contrast when Kamala Harris proposed
[00:10:13] [SPEAKER_01]: tax relief that included up to $6,000 for parents of
[00:10:17] [SPEAKER_01]: newborns and $3,600 for an expanded child tax credit
[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_01]: the headlines were about her plans to lower costs for
[00:10:24] [SPEAKER_01]: families. Now I appreciate the media estimating the cost
[00:10:27] [SPEAKER_01]: of these campaign proposals especially at a time when the
[00:10:30] [SPEAKER_01]: federal government is $35 trillion in debt but a fair way to
[00:10:34] [SPEAKER_01]: cover these campaign proposals would be to remind voters
[00:10:37] [SPEAKER_01]: of the cost when either candidate announces a policy.
[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm Kirby Anderson and that's my Point of View.
[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_04]: Go deeper on topics like you just heard by visiting
[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_04]: PointOfView.net that's PointOfView.net
[00:10:58] [SPEAKER_04]: You're listening to PointOfView your listener supported
[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_00]: source for truth. Thanks for staying with us. I'm Liberty
[00:11:05] [SPEAKER_00]: MacArthur sitting in for Kirby Anderson today and on the
[00:11:07] [SPEAKER_00]: phone I've got Dr. Brad Wilcox and we are discussing his
[00:11:10] [SPEAKER_00]: book Get Married Why Americans Must Defy the Elites
[00:11:14] [SPEAKER_00]: Forged Strong Families and Save Civilization if you're
[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_00]: watching online I'm holding it up so Dr. Wilcox right
[00:11:21] [SPEAKER_00]: before the break you told us that there are four groups
[00:11:24] [SPEAKER_00]: of Americans that you identify as masters of marriage in
[00:11:29] [SPEAKER_00]: America today and so some of them I think maybe people
[00:11:32] [SPEAKER_00]: would expect but there's actually a group in there
[00:11:35] [SPEAKER_00]: that I was surprised that are really preaching an
[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_00]: opposite message from what they're actually living is
[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_06]: that right? Yeah there are plenty of kind of liberal
[00:11:44] [SPEAKER_06]: college educated Americans today Liberty who are
[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_06]: basically in public minimizing or even denying the
[00:11:52] [SPEAKER_06]: importance of marriage even as they privately
[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_06]: benefit from marriage. I'm thinking of media journalists
[00:11:59] [SPEAKER_06]: college professors you know even C-Suit executives now
[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_06]: school superintendents who kind of would never
[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_06]: publicly affirm the importance of marriage or
[00:12:10] [SPEAKER_06]: kind of give kids or you know their audiences some
[00:12:13] [SPEAKER_06]: kind of inkling about the value of marriage but then
[00:12:16] [SPEAKER_06]: kind of as they return to their homes often in
[00:12:20] [SPEAKER_06]: their you know well appointed suburbs are very much
[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_06]: attentive to the importance of marriage and you
[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_06]: know to being kind of what I would describe as
[00:12:28] [SPEAKER_06]: sort of family first spouses and parents. Right and
[00:12:33] [SPEAKER_00]: again that's why it's so important to use tools
[00:12:35] [SPEAKER_00]: like your book and dig into the research for
[00:12:38] [SPEAKER_00]: ourselves because the messages that we're hearing
[00:12:41] [SPEAKER_00]: in the media and from the elites is not doesn't
[00:12:45] [SPEAKER_00]: actually match up with reality but your book is
[00:12:48] [SPEAKER_00]: divided into 11 chapters three cover common myths
[00:12:52] [SPEAKER_00]: that our culture believes about marriage and some
[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_00]: of those myths even that people who are benefiting
[00:12:57] [SPEAKER_00]: from marriage continue to perpetuate so the
[00:13:00] [SPEAKER_00]: first one is the flying solo myth. So could you
[00:13:04] [SPEAKER_00]: explain what that is and then the truth that's
[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_00]: actually behind it. So we've seen and worked
[00:13:10] [SPEAKER_06]: done by a prominent social scientist named Eric
[00:13:13] [SPEAKER_06]: Clinton Berg in a book called Going Solo basically
[00:13:16] [SPEAKER_06]: this idea that you know being single is just
[00:13:19] [SPEAKER_06]: an incredible opportunity to kind of be free of
[00:13:22] [SPEAKER_06]: the encumbrance of the family life to kind of do
[00:13:23] [SPEAKER_06]: your own thing into first and new and important
[00:13:27] [SPEAKER_06]: ways. And yet we see in the research that on
[00:13:29] [SPEAKER_06]: average men and women are more likely to be
[00:13:33] [SPEAKER_06]: both financially secure and happy when they're
[00:13:36] [SPEAKER_06]: married and that surprised me I think given a
[00:13:39] [SPEAKER_06]: lot of messaging around parenthood today
[00:13:41] [SPEAKER_06]: there's no group of both men and women who
[00:13:44] [SPEAKER_06]: are happier than married dads and married moms.
[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_06]: Now I'm not of course minimizing the challenges
[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_06]: of being a parent I've got a bunch of kids myself
[00:13:52] [SPEAKER_06]: but what I am stressing here is that on average
[00:13:55] [SPEAKER_06]: married moms and married dads are less lonely
[00:13:59] [SPEAKER_06]: report more meaningful lives and are happier
[00:14:01] [SPEAKER_06]: that runs against a lot of the messaging today
[00:14:04] [SPEAKER_06]: around both marriage and family life more
[00:14:06] [SPEAKER_00]: generally. Right. And I think that's important
[00:14:09] [SPEAKER_00]: to which I believe you do point out that
[00:14:11] [SPEAKER_00]: happiness or satisfaction in life isn't
[00:14:15] [SPEAKER_00]: necessarily related to how much free time you
[00:14:18] [SPEAKER_00]: have or how many resources you have but it
[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_00]: really is a matter of being able to find
[00:14:22] [SPEAKER_00]: meaning and purpose in life. Is that what
[00:14:25] [SPEAKER_00]: you found in your research as well?
[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_06]: Right and I think one of the key kind of
[00:14:30] [SPEAKER_06]: dimensions of being for many of us is not
[00:14:32] [SPEAKER_06]: just sort of being the recipients of care
[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_06]: but having opportunities to care for others
[00:14:37] [SPEAKER_06]: and I think you know in general that's
[00:14:40] [SPEAKER_06]: about caring for your spouse and caring for
[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_06]: your kids and can obviously we should be
[00:14:44] [SPEAKER_06]: involved in our communities and our
[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_06]: churches and whatnot but it's just
[00:14:47] [SPEAKER_06]: important to underline that the
[00:14:49] [SPEAKER_06]: opportunities that we have to care for
[00:14:51] [SPEAKER_06]: others generate a tremendous amount of
[00:14:54] [SPEAKER_06]: meaning for many of us happiness but
[00:14:55] [SPEAKER_06]: that we recognize I think in this
[00:14:57] [SPEAKER_00]: culture today. And so it is an election
[00:15:00] [SPEAKER_00]: year and so if people aren't thinking
[00:15:03] [SPEAKER_00]: about how their votes may affect future
[00:15:06] [SPEAKER_00]: policies surrounding marriage and
[00:15:09] [SPEAKER_00]: family they definitely should be
[00:15:11] [SPEAKER_00]: thinking about that because the policies
[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_00]: that we support could impact by
[00:15:16] [SPEAKER_00]: encouraging or discouraging marriage in
[00:15:18] [SPEAKER_00]: the future and your final chapter is
[00:15:20] [SPEAKER_00]: dedicated to that so give us just a
[00:15:22] [SPEAKER_00]: preview of some of the things that you
[00:15:25] [SPEAKER_00]: would like to see changes in our
[00:15:27] [SPEAKER_00]: culture or in our politics to help
[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_00]: encourage marriage.
[00:15:31] [SPEAKER_06]: Yes it's important to recognize
[00:15:33] [SPEAKER_06]: your both cultural challenges facing
[00:15:34] [SPEAKER_06]: families today and there are also
[00:15:36] [SPEAKER_06]: economic challenges as well and three
[00:15:39] [SPEAKER_06]: things that I've been focusing on both
[00:15:40] [SPEAKER_06]: in the book and just more generally
[00:15:42] [SPEAKER_06]: our number one what's called the
[00:15:43] [SPEAKER_06]: marriage penalty. Well that is
[00:15:45] [SPEAKER_06]: basically a lot of our means test
[00:15:47] [SPEAKER_06]: the programs like Medicaid for instance
[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_06]: you know which is public health
[00:15:50] [SPEAKER_06]: insurance and the penalizing
[00:15:52] [SPEAKER_06]: marriage for particularly working
[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_06]: class families with kids and so I'd
[00:15:56] [SPEAKER_06]: like to see the government address
[00:15:57] [SPEAKER_06]: that in fact JD Vance actually has a
[00:15:59] [SPEAKER_06]: plan as a senator to do that hoping
[00:16:01] [SPEAKER_06]: that if he is the vice president he
[00:16:04] [SPEAKER_06]: would tackle that issue. Another big
[00:16:06] [SPEAKER_06]: issue we're seeing is what's called
[00:16:07] [SPEAKER_06]: the success sequence getting that into
[00:16:08] [SPEAKER_06]: our schools kind of teaching our
[00:16:10] [SPEAKER_06]: young adults and our kids that both
[00:16:12] [SPEAKER_06]: education work and marriage are
[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_06]: beneficial to them and we've got
[00:16:16] [SPEAKER_06]: some actually strategies for states
[00:16:18] [SPEAKER_06]: across the country to kind of do
[00:16:19] [SPEAKER_06]: this places like Ohio and Texas
[00:16:22] [SPEAKER_06]: hoping to kind of advance that in
[00:16:24] [SPEAKER_06]: the in the next legislative
[00:16:25] [SPEAKER_06]: sessions and then finally we've got
[00:16:27] [SPEAKER_06]: a real problem with housing in this
[00:16:29] [SPEAKER_06]: country affordable housing and so
[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_06]: we'd like to see both federal and
[00:16:34] [SPEAKER_06]: state you know governments moving
[00:16:37] [SPEAKER_06]: forward on efforts to make housing
[00:16:39] [SPEAKER_06]: particularly single-family housing
[00:16:42] [SPEAKER_06]: more affordable for ordinary
[00:16:44] [SPEAKER_06]: Americans across the country and that
[00:16:46] [SPEAKER_06]: would help we think make people
[00:16:48] [SPEAKER_06]: more comfortable about both getting
[00:16:49] [SPEAKER_06]: married and having kids if they
[00:16:51] [SPEAKER_06]: feel like they can get a house more
[00:16:53] [SPEAKER_00]: readily today. Yeah makes so much
[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_00]: sense so Dr. Wilcox we've barely
[00:16:58] [SPEAKER_00]: scratched the surface today but I
[00:16:59] [SPEAKER_00]: hope that more people will get
[00:17:02] [SPEAKER_00]: your book and read that and educate
[00:17:03] [SPEAKER_00]: themselves but before I let you go
[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_00]: where can people follow your current
[00:17:08] [SPEAKER_00]: research and work. So I'm on twitter
[00:17:11] [SPEAKER_05]: Brad Wilcox, IFF and then familystudies.org
[00:17:14] [SPEAKER_05]: are two good places to stick that name.
[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Okay great well again thank you Dr.
[00:17:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Wilcox for joining point of view
[00:17:20] [SPEAKER_06]: today. Okay thank you Liberty.
[00:17:23] [SPEAKER_00]: So again if you want to look up
[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_00]: get married from Dr. Brad Wilcox and
[00:17:30] [SPEAKER_00]: get that book I'm holding it up
[00:17:31] [SPEAKER_00]: again if you're watching online you can
[00:17:32] [SPEAKER_00]: also go to pointofview.net
[00:17:34] [SPEAKER_00]: we have the link there from everything
[00:17:36] [SPEAKER_00]: that we'll be talking about on the show
[00:17:38] [SPEAKER_00]: today
[00:17:38] [SPEAKER_00]: including a link to get this book and
[00:17:40] [SPEAKER_00]: again I highly recommend it
[00:17:42] [SPEAKER_00]: so I'm a mom of two young kids
[00:17:45] [SPEAKER_00]: and so if you are a parent and you've
[00:17:47] [SPEAKER_00]: got kids that maybe you're approaching
[00:17:48] [SPEAKER_00]: that high school age or maybe they're
[00:17:50] [SPEAKER_00]: about to go off to college I really
[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_00]: encourage you to read this book
[00:17:54] [SPEAKER_00]: with them because this is a book
[00:17:56] [SPEAKER_00]: that we need to be reading with
[00:17:59] [SPEAKER_00]: high schoolers the conversation needs
[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_00]: to start early as he said
[00:18:02] [SPEAKER_00]: he mentioned there right at the end
[00:18:04] [SPEAKER_00]: there's something called the success
[00:18:06] [SPEAKER_00]: sequence which I know has been
[00:18:08] [SPEAKER_00]: mentioned on point of view before
[00:18:10] [SPEAKER_00]: but there is research backed evidence
[00:18:13] [SPEAKER_00]: that can show kids what sort of courses
[00:18:17] [SPEAKER_00]: to take in life regarding family not
[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_00]: just school not just jobs
[00:18:21] [SPEAKER_00]: that have the highest potential for
[00:18:24] [SPEAKER_00]: good outcomes later on
[00:18:25] [SPEAKER_00]: and so when kids get to be at that
[00:18:27] [SPEAKER_00]: high school age
[00:18:28] [SPEAKER_00]: we oftentimes ask them you know
[00:18:30] [SPEAKER_00]: all right what do you want to do
[00:18:32] [SPEAKER_00]: what sort of classes do you want to
[00:18:33] [SPEAKER_00]: focus on
[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_00]: let's get ready for college entrance
[00:18:37] [SPEAKER_00]: exams let's apply for scholarships and
[00:18:39] [SPEAKER_00]: all of those things are great
[00:18:40] [SPEAKER_00]: but we need to make sure that we are
[00:18:42] [SPEAKER_00]: setting our kids up for marriage
[00:18:44] [SPEAKER_00]: as well for successful life and
[00:18:46] [SPEAKER_00]: relationships because
[00:18:47] [SPEAKER_00]: they're not getting it from the
[00:18:48] [SPEAKER_00]: culture another thing that Dr.
[00:18:50] [SPEAKER_00]: Wilcox talks about in his book
[00:18:51] [SPEAKER_00]: is that there are a lot of social
[00:18:53] [SPEAKER_00]: media influencers
[00:18:55] [SPEAKER_00]: who are perpetrating this idea
[00:18:58] [SPEAKER_00]: that marriage is bad for men
[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_00]: or marriage is bad for women
[00:19:02] [SPEAKER_00]: and they're certainly getting upside
[00:19:04] [SPEAKER_00]: down messages about marriage
[00:19:07] [SPEAKER_00]: from the culture as well
[00:19:08] [SPEAKER_00]: so if we want to raise kids to be
[00:19:10] [SPEAKER_00]: counter cultural
[00:19:11] [SPEAKER_00]: which we will talk more about in
[00:19:13] [SPEAKER_00]: the next hour with our another
[00:19:14] [SPEAKER_00]: guest Andrea Crum
[00:19:15] [SPEAKER_00]: we need to be intentionally talking
[00:19:17] [SPEAKER_00]: about the benefits
[00:19:18] [SPEAKER_00]: the research backed benefits
[00:19:20] [SPEAKER_00]: of marriage and family
[00:19:22] [SPEAKER_00]: so again this book
[00:19:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Get Married by Dr. Brad Wilcox
[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_00]: go to pointofview.net
[00:19:27] [SPEAKER_00]: get the book look it up
[00:19:28] [SPEAKER_00]: that's a great resource
[00:19:29] [SPEAKER_00]: but as Christians
[00:19:31] [SPEAKER_00]: we also need to make sure that our
[00:19:32] [SPEAKER_00]: kids really know the why
[00:19:34] [SPEAKER_00]: behind why marriage matters
[00:19:35] [SPEAKER_00]: and not just kids
[00:19:37] [SPEAKER_00]: people in our congregations
[00:19:39] [SPEAKER_00]: people in our family
[00:19:40] [SPEAKER_00]: our friends because
[00:19:41] [SPEAKER_00]: thanks to books like this
[00:19:43] [SPEAKER_00]: that we've been talking about
[00:19:44] [SPEAKER_00]: for the past few minutes
[00:19:45] [SPEAKER_00]: we can look at the evidence
[00:19:46] [SPEAKER_00]: and the statistics
[00:19:48] [SPEAKER_00]: on marriage effects
[00:19:50] [SPEAKER_00]: in society and see that it is
[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_00]: important
[00:19:53] [SPEAKER_00]: but in order to understand
[00:19:55] [SPEAKER_00]: why it's important
[00:19:56] [SPEAKER_00]: we have to turn to the scripture
[00:19:58] [SPEAKER_00]: and so before we go to our next
[00:20:01] [SPEAKER_00]: break in just a few minutes
[00:20:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I did want to highlight
[00:20:03] [SPEAKER_00]: one more article
[00:20:04] [SPEAKER_00]: this is linked at pointofview.net
[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_00]: you can look it up
[00:20:07] [SPEAKER_00]: but it's by Rebecca McLaughlin
[00:20:09] [SPEAKER_00]: great author very
[00:20:12] [SPEAKER_00]: gifted in writing about things
[00:20:14] [SPEAKER_00]: like apologetics
[00:20:15] [SPEAKER_00]: and what the bible teaches
[00:20:16] [SPEAKER_00]: and so shout out to Steve
[00:20:18] [SPEAKER_00]: for showing me this article
[00:20:19] [SPEAKER_00]: from the worldview bulletin
[00:20:21] [SPEAKER_00]: from earlier this summer
[00:20:22] [SPEAKER_00]: but it's by Rebecca McLaughlin
[00:20:24] [SPEAKER_00]: and she wrote on the cosmic
[00:20:26] [SPEAKER_00]: significance of marriage
[00:20:28] [SPEAKER_00]: and so I think this is intuitive
[00:20:29] [SPEAKER_00]: for a lot of us
[00:20:30] [SPEAKER_00]: that marriage matters
[00:20:32] [SPEAKER_00]: for a reason
[00:20:34] [SPEAKER_00]: but why
[00:20:34] [SPEAKER_00]: we know that it's good for society
[00:20:36] [SPEAKER_00]: we can look at the research
[00:20:37] [SPEAKER_00]: to back that up
[00:20:38] [SPEAKER_00]: but why is it good for society
[00:20:41] [SPEAKER_00]: and so she does a really good job
[00:20:43] [SPEAKER_00]: of explaining this
[00:20:44] [SPEAKER_00]: and I'll just read
[00:20:44] [SPEAKER_00]: a little bit of her article
[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_00]: she says marriage is a model
[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_00]: of a greater thing
[00:20:49] [SPEAKER_00]: and because of that
[00:20:51] [SPEAKER_00]: it's vital that we stick
[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_00]: with God's design
[00:20:53] [SPEAKER_00]: we have to remember that
[00:20:55] [SPEAKER_00]: Christian marriage is designed
[00:20:58] [SPEAKER_00]: to show us something else
[00:20:59] [SPEAKER_00]: it's not the ultimate relationship
[00:21:01] [SPEAKER_00]: it's meant to point us
[00:21:02] [SPEAKER_00]: to the ultimate relationship
[00:21:05] [SPEAKER_00]: and that is the relationship
[00:21:06] [SPEAKER_00]: that we have with Jesus
[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_00]: so go to pointofview.net
[00:21:09] [SPEAKER_00]: if you want to get
[00:21:10] [SPEAKER_00]: a biblically based breakdown
[00:21:12] [SPEAKER_00]: of the real reason
[00:21:13] [SPEAKER_00]: why marriage matters
[00:21:14] [SPEAKER_00]: to kind of round out this discussion
[00:21:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I definitely recommend that article
[00:21:18] [SPEAKER_00]: but stay with us
[00:21:19] [SPEAKER_00]: because in a few minutes
[00:21:20] [SPEAKER_00]: I will be interviewing Jay Louder
[00:21:22] [SPEAKER_00]: on the topic of suicide
[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_00]: prevention to stay with point of view
[00:21:25] [SPEAKER_04]: in 19th century London
[00:21:32] [SPEAKER_04]: two towering historical figures
[00:21:34] [SPEAKER_04]: did battle
[00:21:35] [SPEAKER_04]: not with guns and bombs
[00:21:37] [SPEAKER_04]: but words and ideas
[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_04]: London was home
[00:21:40] [SPEAKER_04]: to Karl Marx
[00:21:42] [SPEAKER_04]: the father of communism
[00:21:44] [SPEAKER_04]: and legendary Baptist preacher
[00:21:46] [SPEAKER_04]: Charles Spurgeon
[00:21:47] [SPEAKER_04]: London was in many ways
[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_04]: the center of the world
[00:21:50] [SPEAKER_04]: economically, militarily
[00:21:52] [SPEAKER_04]: and intellectually
[00:21:54] [SPEAKER_04]: Marx sought to destroy religion
[00:21:56] [SPEAKER_04]: the family
[00:21:57] [SPEAKER_04]: and everything the bible supports
[00:21:59] [SPEAKER_04]: Spurgeon stood against him
[00:22:01] [SPEAKER_04]: warning of socialism's dangers
[00:22:03] [SPEAKER_04]: Spurgeon understood Christianity
[00:22:05] [SPEAKER_04]: is not just religious truth
[00:22:08] [SPEAKER_04]: it is truth for all of life
[00:22:10] [SPEAKER_04]: where do you find men
[00:22:12] [SPEAKER_04]: with that kind of wisdom
[00:22:13] [SPEAKER_04]: to stand against darkness today
[00:22:15] [SPEAKER_04]: get the light you need
[00:22:17] [SPEAKER_04]: on today's most pressing issues
[00:22:19] [SPEAKER_04]: delivered to your inbox
[00:22:20] [SPEAKER_04]: when you sign up for the view points commentary
[00:22:23] [SPEAKER_04]: at pointofview.net
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[00:22:27] [SPEAKER_04]: every weekday
[00:22:28] [SPEAKER_04]: in less than two minutes
[00:22:29] [SPEAKER_04]: you'll learn how to be a person of light
[00:22:32] [SPEAKER_04]: to stand against darkness
[00:22:33] [SPEAKER_04]: in our time
[00:22:34] [SPEAKER_04]: it's free
[00:22:35] [SPEAKER_04]: so visit pointofview.net
[00:22:38] [SPEAKER_04]: slash sign up right now
[00:22:40] [SPEAKER_04]: pointofview.net
[00:22:42] [SPEAKER_04]: slash sign up
[00:22:47] [SPEAKER_04]: point of view
[00:22:49] [SPEAKER_04]: will continue
[00:22:50] [SPEAKER_04]: at view are listening to point of view
[00:23:02] [SPEAKER_04]: the opinions expressed on point of view
[00:23:04] [SPEAKER_04]: do not necessarily reflect the views
[00:23:07] [SPEAKER_04]: of the management or staff of this station
[00:23:10] [SPEAKER_04]: and now here again
[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_04]: your guest host for point of view
[00:23:14] [SPEAKER_00]: welcome back to point of view
[00:23:16] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Liberty MacArthur sitting in
[00:23:17] [SPEAKER_00]: for Kirby Anderson today
[00:23:19] [SPEAKER_00]: and next up
[00:23:20] [SPEAKER_00]: we'll be discussing a heavy topic
[00:23:22] [SPEAKER_00]: but there is a hope filled testimony
[00:23:24] [SPEAKER_00]: and so I'm very glad
[00:23:25] [SPEAKER_00]: to welcome Jay Louder
[00:23:27] [SPEAKER_00]: on to point of view
[00:23:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Jay Louder is an evangelist
[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_00]: and a speaker
[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_00]: and the founder of Jay Louder
[00:23:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Harvest Ministries
[00:23:33] [SPEAKER_00]: welcome to point of view Jay
[00:23:35] [SPEAKER_02]: Liberty good to be with you today
[00:23:37] [SPEAKER_02]: and by the way
[00:23:37] [SPEAKER_02]: I absolutely love your name
[00:23:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I think it's great
[00:23:40] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh well thank you
[00:23:41] [SPEAKER_00]: credits to my parents
[00:23:42] [SPEAKER_00]: on that one
[00:23:44] [SPEAKER_02]: yeah it's unusual
[00:23:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean
[00:23:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I've never heard anybody
[00:23:46] [SPEAKER_02]: with that name
[00:23:47] [SPEAKER_02]: so very unique
[00:23:47] [SPEAKER_00]: well thank you
[00:23:48] [SPEAKER_00]: and Jay you have
[00:23:50] [SPEAKER_00]: a wonderful testimony
[00:23:52] [SPEAKER_00]: and so I definitely
[00:23:53] [SPEAKER_00]: want to hear your story today
[00:23:55] [SPEAKER_00]: but this is
[00:23:57] [SPEAKER_00]: for people who may not be aware
[00:23:58] [SPEAKER_00]: this is suicide prevention
[00:24:00] [SPEAKER_00]: awareness month
[00:24:01] [SPEAKER_00]: and this is sadly
[00:24:03] [SPEAKER_00]: a very relevant topic
[00:24:05] [SPEAKER_00]: that we need to discuss today
[00:24:07] [SPEAKER_00]: because suicide is the
[00:24:09] [SPEAKER_00]: second leading cause of death
[00:24:10] [SPEAKER_00]: for people between the ages
[00:24:12] [SPEAKER_00]: of 10 to 14
[00:24:13] [SPEAKER_00]: and 25 to 34
[00:24:15] [SPEAKER_00]: and obviously it affects
[00:24:17] [SPEAKER_00]: people of all ages
[00:24:18] [SPEAKER_00]: but Jay I wanted to get
[00:24:19] [SPEAKER_00]: your perspective
[00:24:20] [SPEAKER_00]: why is suicide
[00:24:21] [SPEAKER_00]: such a growing problem
[00:24:23] [SPEAKER_00]: for America's young people today
[00:24:26] [SPEAKER_02]: well I think one of the reasons
[00:24:28] [SPEAKER_02]: for that is
[00:24:29] [SPEAKER_02]: there is so many mental health
[00:24:31] [SPEAKER_02]: issues
[00:24:31] [SPEAKER_02]: and I'm not saying that
[00:24:32] [SPEAKER_02]: everybody that struggles
[00:24:33] [SPEAKER_02]: with suicidal tendencies
[00:24:34] [SPEAKER_02]: has a mental health issue
[00:24:36] [SPEAKER_02]: because sometimes
[00:24:37] [SPEAKER_02]: it's situational
[00:24:38] [SPEAKER_02]: but I do think
[00:24:40] [SPEAKER_02]: that's one of the leading
[00:24:41] [SPEAKER_02]: contributors
[00:24:42] [SPEAKER_02]: where there is not the access
[00:24:44] [SPEAKER_02]: or and I even think
[00:24:46] [SPEAKER_02]: I actually with believers
[00:24:48] [SPEAKER_02]: many believers
[00:24:49] [SPEAKER_02]: have struggled with
[00:24:50] [SPEAKER_02]: suicidal tendencies
[00:24:51] [SPEAKER_02]: and there's been a thought that
[00:24:52] [SPEAKER_02]: well if you know Christ
[00:24:53] [SPEAKER_02]: you don't have those types of thoughts
[00:24:55] [SPEAKER_02]: but yet as you mentioned earlier
[00:24:57] [SPEAKER_02]: it impacts everybody
[00:24:58] [SPEAKER_02]: regardless of age
[00:24:59] [SPEAKER_02]: regardless of demographic
[00:25:01] [SPEAKER_02]: and even for people who know Christ
[00:25:03] [SPEAKER_00]: yeah and you are no stranger
[00:25:05] [SPEAKER_00]: to this topic
[00:25:05] [SPEAKER_00]: because part of your testimony
[00:25:07] [SPEAKER_00]: is having a background
[00:25:09] [SPEAKER_00]: of struggling with this issue
[00:25:10] [SPEAKER_00]: so can you tell us about
[00:25:13] [SPEAKER_00]: what led you to that
[00:25:14] [SPEAKER_00]: low moment in your life
[00:25:15] [SPEAKER_00]: where you were considering suicide
[00:25:17] [SPEAKER_02]: yeah well I actually grew up
[00:25:20] [SPEAKER_02]: I live in the south
[00:25:20] [SPEAKER_02]: and I grew up going to church every week
[00:25:22] [SPEAKER_02]: and so I had a background
[00:25:23] [SPEAKER_02]: of going to church
[00:25:25] [SPEAKER_02]: but like a lot of people
[00:25:26] [SPEAKER_02]: I had a background
[00:25:27] [SPEAKER_02]: of going to church
[00:25:27] [SPEAKER_02]: but that did not mean
[00:25:28] [SPEAKER_02]: that I had a relationship with Christ
[00:25:30] [SPEAKER_02]: when I graduated high school
[00:25:32] [SPEAKER_02]: went off to college
[00:25:34] [SPEAKER_02]: pretty much my life
[00:25:35] [SPEAKER_02]: unraveled in the next three years
[00:25:37] [SPEAKER_02]: and fought a lot of depression
[00:25:39] [SPEAKER_02]: some of that was situational
[00:25:41] [SPEAKER_02]: which was tied to
[00:25:42] [SPEAKER_02]: again if you put yourself
[00:25:44] [SPEAKER_02]: in the mindset
[00:25:44] [SPEAKER_02]: of a 21 year old young man
[00:25:46] [SPEAKER_02]: that lost his girlfriend
[00:25:49] [SPEAKER_02]: his job
[00:25:50] [SPEAKER_02]: his car
[00:25:51] [SPEAKER_02]: got out of college
[00:25:53] [SPEAKER_02]: you know those are very important things
[00:25:55] [SPEAKER_02]: for someone at that age
[00:25:57] [SPEAKER_02]: and not going anywhere
[00:25:59] [SPEAKER_02]: and not really
[00:26:00] [SPEAKER_02]: and then again fighting
[00:26:01] [SPEAKER_02]: some mental health issues
[00:26:03] [SPEAKER_02]: and just the depression
[00:26:04] [SPEAKER_02]: and the hopelessness
[00:26:05] [SPEAKER_02]: that came with it
[00:26:07] [SPEAKER_02]: I just got to a place
[00:26:08] [SPEAKER_02]: where I felt like
[00:26:09] [SPEAKER_02]: that the only solution
[00:26:11] [SPEAKER_02]: was to try to escape the pain
[00:26:13] [SPEAKER_02]: you know it's been said
[00:26:14] [SPEAKER_02]: that people oftentimes
[00:26:16] [SPEAKER_02]: many people who attempt suicide
[00:26:18] [SPEAKER_02]: it's not that they want to die
[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_02]: they just don't want to live
[00:26:21] [SPEAKER_02]: and that was really the case with me
[00:26:23] [SPEAKER_02]: I've often used the analogy
[00:26:26] [SPEAKER_02]: many people
[00:26:27] [SPEAKER_02]: many listeners will remember back
[00:26:28] [SPEAKER_02]: during 9-11
[00:26:30] [SPEAKER_02]: there was an armada of people
[00:26:32] [SPEAKER_02]: who were jumping out of buildings
[00:26:35] [SPEAKER_02]: and it wasn't because
[00:26:36] [SPEAKER_02]: they wanted to die
[00:26:37] [SPEAKER_02]: it was just an escape mechanism
[00:26:39] [SPEAKER_02]: to try to get away
[00:26:40] [SPEAKER_02]: from the pain and the suffering
[00:26:42] [SPEAKER_02]: of the flames that were behind them
[00:26:44] [SPEAKER_02]: and that's really indicative
[00:26:45] [SPEAKER_02]: and really a good representation
[00:26:47] [SPEAKER_02]: of where I was personally
[00:26:50] [SPEAKER_02]: again I didn't want to die
[00:26:51] [SPEAKER_02]: I just wanted to escape the pain
[00:26:53] [SPEAKER_02]: that was in my life
[00:26:54] [SPEAKER_02]: and didn't have a solution
[00:26:55] [SPEAKER_02]: or know how to get out of it
[00:26:58] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah what a striking analogy
[00:27:00] [SPEAKER_00]: and again this is very relevant today
[00:27:03] [SPEAKER_00]: just in the last half hour
[00:27:04] [SPEAKER_00]: we were in our last interview
[00:27:07] [SPEAKER_00]: we talked about the number
[00:27:08] [SPEAKER_00]: of deaths of despair
[00:27:10] [SPEAKER_00]: in this nation
[00:27:10] [SPEAKER_00]: and so I think a lot of people
[00:27:11] [SPEAKER_00]: probably resonate with what you were
[00:27:14] [SPEAKER_00]: talking about of just
[00:27:15] [SPEAKER_00]: kind of feeling that way
[00:27:17] [SPEAKER_00]: and particularly I know again
[00:27:19] [SPEAKER_00]: you said everybody struggles with this
[00:27:21] [SPEAKER_00]: but I know that
[00:27:22] [SPEAKER_00]: the death of despair
[00:27:24] [SPEAKER_00]: and kind of that hopelessness
[00:27:25] [SPEAKER_00]: is affecting a lot of young men today
[00:27:28] [SPEAKER_00]: but if you could
[00:27:30] [SPEAKER_00]: tell us about that moment
[00:27:31] [SPEAKER_00]: when you were at that low point
[00:27:33] [SPEAKER_00]: but then you were interrupted
[00:27:35] [SPEAKER_00]: and what happened next?
[00:27:38] [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah well I actually had been
[00:27:39] [SPEAKER_02]: thinking about taking my life
[00:27:41] [SPEAKER_02]: for quite some time
[00:27:42] [SPEAKER_02]: like a lot of people
[00:27:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I began to isolate myself
[00:27:45] [SPEAKER_02]: I began to withdraw
[00:27:46] [SPEAKER_02]: and even though there were people
[00:27:47] [SPEAKER_02]: that knew I had issues in my life
[00:27:49] [SPEAKER_02]: no one really knew
[00:27:51] [SPEAKER_02]: that I was at the point that I was
[00:27:52] [SPEAKER_02]: I was too embarrassed
[00:27:53] [SPEAKER_02]: to reach out to anybody
[00:27:55] [SPEAKER_02]: and tell them my level of despair
[00:27:58] [SPEAKER_02]: and so one day
[00:27:59] [SPEAKER_02]: I was living with a friend of mine
[00:28:02] [SPEAKER_02]: in a little dilapidated rent house
[00:28:04] [SPEAKER_02]: and woke up about 12 o'clock
[00:28:07] [SPEAKER_02]: in the afternoon
[00:28:07] [SPEAKER_02]: and walked in the bathroom
[00:28:09] [SPEAKER_02]: to kind of try to sober up
[00:28:11] [SPEAKER_02]: a little bit
[00:28:12] [SPEAKER_02]: and for some reason
[00:28:13] [SPEAKER_02]: that day when I looked in the mirror
[00:28:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't know
[00:28:15] [SPEAKER_02]: I just saw myself in a way
[00:28:16] [SPEAKER_02]: I had not before
[00:28:17] [SPEAKER_02]: I was just thinking about
[00:28:19] [SPEAKER_02]: where I hadn't landed in life
[00:28:21] [SPEAKER_02]: you know
[00:28:21] [SPEAKER_02]: that here I was
[00:28:23] [SPEAKER_02]: I dropped out
[00:28:24] [SPEAKER_02]: I'd lost my car
[00:28:24] [SPEAKER_02]: I'd lost my job
[00:28:25] [SPEAKER_02]: my whole life had fallen apart
[00:28:28] [SPEAKER_02]: I was in such pain
[00:28:30] [SPEAKER_02]: and agony again
[00:28:31] [SPEAKER_02]: as I mentioned earlier
[00:28:32] [SPEAKER_02]: trying to figure out a way
[00:28:33] [SPEAKER_02]: to get out of it
[00:28:34] [SPEAKER_02]: and a way to escape
[00:28:35] [SPEAKER_02]: didn't know how to do that
[00:28:37] [SPEAKER_02]: faith was not anything real
[00:28:39] [SPEAKER_02]: in my life
[00:28:39] [SPEAKER_02]: and so
[00:28:41] [SPEAKER_02]: I came to the conclusion
[00:28:42] [SPEAKER_02]: that the only way
[00:28:43] [SPEAKER_02]: to get out of it was to
[00:28:45] [SPEAKER_02]: end my life
[00:28:46] [SPEAKER_02]: and so I went back to
[00:28:48] [SPEAKER_02]: my bed
[00:28:49] [SPEAKER_02]: which was a sofa
[00:28:50] [SPEAKER_02]: and took out a 22 caliber pistol
[00:28:52] [SPEAKER_02]: and pointed it to my right temple
[00:28:54] [SPEAKER_02]: and put my finger on the trigger
[00:28:57] [SPEAKER_02]: to end it all
[00:28:59] [SPEAKER_02]: and my roommate
[00:29:01] [SPEAKER_02]: worked for his father
[00:29:02] [SPEAKER_02]: and of course
[00:29:03] [SPEAKER_02]: everybody at that time
[00:29:04] [SPEAKER_02]: would have been in college
[00:29:05] [SPEAKER_02]: or been at work
[00:29:07] [SPEAKER_02]: and he never came home for lunch
[00:29:08] [SPEAKER_02]: because he worked for his father
[00:29:10] [SPEAKER_02]: and he only had a 30 minute lunch break
[00:29:11] [SPEAKER_02]: it was too far to be able
[00:29:12] [SPEAKER_02]: to come back home for lunch
[00:29:14] [SPEAKER_02]: but anyway
[00:29:14] [SPEAKER_02]: I heard somebody pull up
[00:29:16] [SPEAKER_02]: on the gravel driveway
[00:29:18] [SPEAKER_02]: which would have been an anomaly
[00:29:20] [SPEAKER_02]: very unusual
[00:29:21] [SPEAKER_02]: and it was just enough
[00:29:22] [SPEAKER_02]: to startle me
[00:29:24] [SPEAKER_02]: to wonder who would be
[00:29:25] [SPEAKER_02]: you know coming to our house
[00:29:27] [SPEAKER_02]: at that time of the day
[00:29:29] [SPEAKER_02]: and so I just set the gun down
[00:29:31] [SPEAKER_02]: just to see what was going on
[00:29:34] [SPEAKER_02]: and it was my roommate's
[00:29:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Nissan
[00:29:37] [SPEAKER_02]: and so anyway
[00:29:39] [SPEAKER_02]: I just engaged the gun
[00:29:41] [SPEAKER_02]: put it on the sofa
[00:29:42] [SPEAKER_02]: turned on the TV
[00:29:43] [SPEAKER_02]: and my roommate walked in
[00:29:45] [SPEAKER_02]: and I asked him
[00:29:45] [SPEAKER_02]: what was he doing home
[00:29:47] [SPEAKER_02]: and he said man
[00:29:48] [SPEAKER_02]: it's the weirdest thing
[00:29:49] [SPEAKER_02]: he said you know my dad
[00:29:51] [SPEAKER_02]: he said
[00:29:51] [SPEAKER_02]: my dad never lets me off work
[00:29:53] [SPEAKER_02]: and he said
[00:29:54] [SPEAKER_02]: my dad came up to me and said
[00:29:55] [SPEAKER_02]: why don't you take the rest of the day off
[00:29:57] [SPEAKER_02]: and I'm going to pay you for a full day
[00:30:00] [SPEAKER_02]: and if he were on this
[00:30:01] [SPEAKER_02]: interview today
[00:30:02] [SPEAKER_02]: he would he would tell you
[00:30:03] [SPEAKER_02]: he worked for his father for years
[00:30:04] [SPEAKER_02]: and never was let off work early
[00:30:07] [SPEAKER_02]: especially with pay
[00:30:08] [SPEAKER_02]: and so anyway when that happened
[00:30:11] [SPEAKER_02]: of course
[00:30:11] [SPEAKER_02]: it was very startling to me
[00:30:14] [SPEAKER_02]: because I didn't know if this was the coincidence
[00:30:15] [SPEAKER_02]: or if somehow this was providence
[00:30:18] [SPEAKER_02]: or what it was
[00:30:18] [SPEAKER_02]: but it was enough to keep me from
[00:30:21] [SPEAKER_02]: ending my life that day anyway
[00:30:24] [SPEAKER_00]: Wow
[00:30:24] [SPEAKER_00]: what an amazing story
[00:30:26] [SPEAKER_00]: thank you so much for sharing that Jay
[00:30:28] [SPEAKER_00]: and then
[00:30:30] [SPEAKER_00]: in the couple of minutes we have before the break
[00:30:32] [SPEAKER_00]: that
[00:30:33] [SPEAKER_00]: did that
[00:30:34] [SPEAKER_00]: spark your journey
[00:30:36] [SPEAKER_00]: to then finding out what your life's calling truly was
[00:30:40] [SPEAKER_02]: that's exactly right
[00:30:41] [SPEAKER_02]: that's exactly what happened
[00:30:43] [SPEAKER_02]: I my roommate a short time after that
[00:30:45] [SPEAKER_02]: came home one night
[00:30:47] [SPEAKER_02]: and he lived a similar life that I did
[00:30:49] [SPEAKER_02]: and he wasn't
[00:30:51] [SPEAKER_02]: in the throes of depression that I was
[00:30:53] [SPEAKER_02]: but he came in one night
[00:30:55] [SPEAKER_02]: and said
[00:30:55] [SPEAKER_02]: hey man
[00:30:56] [SPEAKER_02]: we would normally
[00:30:57] [SPEAKER_02]: he would pick me up
[00:30:58] [SPEAKER_02]: and we would go to a local bar
[00:30:59] [SPEAKER_02]: and he said
[00:31:00] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not going tonight
[00:31:01] [SPEAKER_02]: and I said
[00:31:02] [SPEAKER_02]: well what do you mean
[00:31:03] [SPEAKER_02]: he said
[00:31:04] [SPEAKER_02]: I gave my life to Christ
[00:31:05] [SPEAKER_02]: and to be honest with you
[00:31:06] [SPEAKER_02]: it was almost comical
[00:31:07] [SPEAKER_02]: because again I grew up going to church
[00:31:09] [SPEAKER_02]: and
[00:31:10] [SPEAKER_02]: just it was a place that we went
[00:31:11] [SPEAKER_02]: it wasn't a place that had any impact on my life
[00:31:15] [SPEAKER_02]: and I told him I said
[00:31:16] [SPEAKER_02]: man you won't make it two weeks
[00:31:17] [SPEAKER_02]: you know
[00:31:18] [SPEAKER_02]: I've been there done that
[00:31:19] [SPEAKER_02]: there's nothing to it
[00:31:20] [SPEAKER_02]: but when he
[00:31:21] [SPEAKER_02]: I just noticed a real change in him
[00:31:23] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean he started coming home
[00:31:25] [SPEAKER_02]: this guy
[00:31:25] [SPEAKER_02]: he grew up in southern California
[00:31:27] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean he grew up totally different than I did
[00:31:29] [SPEAKER_02]: he came home was reading as a bible every night
[00:31:32] [SPEAKER_02]: and
[00:31:32] [SPEAKER_02]: I just saw a real change in him
[00:31:34] [SPEAKER_02]: so that kind of precipitated
[00:31:36] [SPEAKER_02]: what ended up happening
[00:31:37] [SPEAKER_02]: a short time later
[00:31:38] [SPEAKER_02]: I think he kind of set the table for that
[00:31:40] [SPEAKER_00]: wow
[00:31:41] [SPEAKER_00]: just the impact that another person
[00:31:44] [SPEAKER_00]: can have on somebody else
[00:31:45] [SPEAKER_00]: so
[00:31:46] [SPEAKER_00]: again if you are just now joining us
[00:31:49] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Liberty McCarter
[00:31:50] [SPEAKER_00]: on point of view
[00:31:51] [SPEAKER_00]: filling in for Kirby Anderson today
[00:31:53] [SPEAKER_00]: and I've got
[00:31:53] [SPEAKER_00]: Jay Louder on the phone
[00:31:55] [SPEAKER_00]: because September is
[00:31:56] [SPEAKER_00]: suicide prevention awareness month
[00:31:59] [SPEAKER_00]: and Jay has been sharing his own testimony with us
[00:32:02] [SPEAKER_00]: about his own struggles
[00:32:05] [SPEAKER_00]: with suicidal thoughts
[00:32:06] [SPEAKER_00]: and mental health in the past
[00:32:07] [SPEAKER_00]: and then how God brought him out of that
[00:32:09] [SPEAKER_00]: and so again if you're just now joining us
[00:32:12] [SPEAKER_00]: and you want to
[00:32:12] [SPEAKER_00]: go back and listen
[00:32:14] [SPEAKER_00]: you can certainly do that
[00:32:15] [SPEAKER_00]: you can always find point of view
[00:32:17] [SPEAKER_00]: a broadcast on Facebook
[00:32:18] [SPEAKER_00]: or at point of view.net
[00:32:20] [SPEAKER_00]: and you can also
[00:32:22] [SPEAKER_00]: find links for all of the issues
[00:32:24] [SPEAKER_00]: and articles
[00:32:25] [SPEAKER_00]: and ministries
[00:32:26] [SPEAKER_00]: and people
[00:32:27] [SPEAKER_00]: that we're talking about
[00:32:29] [SPEAKER_00]: or talking to
[00:32:30] [SPEAKER_00]: on point of view
[00:32:31] [SPEAKER_00]: so
[00:32:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Jay just really quickly
[00:32:33] [SPEAKER_00]: we do have some practical tools
[00:32:34] [SPEAKER_00]: that we're going to get to
[00:32:35] [SPEAKER_00]: in the next couple of minutes
[00:32:37] [SPEAKER_00]: after the break
[00:32:38] [SPEAKER_00]: but do you have a hope
[00:32:41] [SPEAKER_00]: or tools for people
[00:32:43] [SPEAKER_00]: who maybe they have a loved one
[00:32:45] [SPEAKER_00]: struggling with this
[00:32:46] [SPEAKER_00]: and you have tools
[00:32:48] [SPEAKER_00]: that you can give them
[00:32:49] [SPEAKER_00]: to try to help them navigate
[00:32:50] [SPEAKER_00]: this difficult time.
[00:32:52] [SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely I've done so many
[00:32:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I've done television
[00:32:55] [SPEAKER_02]: and radio
[00:32:55] [SPEAKER_02]: and I've written articles
[00:32:56] [SPEAKER_02]: and anyway
[00:32:58] [SPEAKER_02]: anybody could go to our website
[00:32:59] [SPEAKER_02]: at Jay Louder.com
[00:33:00] [SPEAKER_02]: there is just a plethora
[00:33:02] [SPEAKER_02]: of different resources
[00:33:03] [SPEAKER_02]: that people could utilize
[00:33:05] [SPEAKER_02]: that could help them
[00:33:06] [SPEAKER_02]: if they personally are struggling
[00:33:07] [SPEAKER_02]: or if they have a loved one
[00:33:09] [SPEAKER_02]: or someone they know who is.
[00:33:10] [SPEAKER_00]: Perfect well again
[00:33:11] [SPEAKER_00]: Jay Louder.com
[00:33:12] [SPEAKER_00]: you can get resources there
[00:33:14] [SPEAKER_00]: and you can also find that link
[00:33:15] [SPEAKER_00]: and others
[00:33:16] [SPEAKER_00]: at pointofview.net
[00:33:18] [SPEAKER_00]: don't go anywhere
[00:33:19] [SPEAKER_00]: because we are about to go to a break
[00:33:20] [SPEAKER_00]: but Jay is going to stay
[00:33:21] [SPEAKER_00]: on the phone with us
[00:33:22] [SPEAKER_00]: and when we come back
[00:33:24] [SPEAKER_00]: after the break
[00:33:24] [SPEAKER_00]: will be diving into
[00:33:26] [SPEAKER_00]: more of those practical tools
[00:33:28] [SPEAKER_00]: and resources
[00:33:29] [SPEAKER_00]: and sources of hope
[00:33:31] [SPEAKER_00]: for you
[00:33:32] [SPEAKER_00]: and anybody you know
[00:33:32] [SPEAKER_00]: who may be struggling
[00:33:33] [SPEAKER_00]: with this issue
[00:33:34] [SPEAKER_00]: so stay with us
[00:33:35] [SPEAKER_00]: we'll be right back.
[00:33:36] [SPEAKER_04]: The point of view
[00:34:02] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm Liberty McCarter
[00:34:03] [SPEAKER_00]: and we are talking to Jay Louder
[00:34:05] [SPEAKER_00]: today about the issue
[00:34:06] [SPEAKER_00]: of suicide prevention awareness month
[00:34:08] [SPEAKER_00]: and if you miss any part
[00:34:10] [SPEAKER_00]: of that interview
[00:34:10] [SPEAKER_00]: definitely go back
[00:34:11] [SPEAKER_00]: you can find it on facebook
[00:34:13] [SPEAKER_00]: or pointofview.net
[00:34:14] [SPEAKER_00]: because you'll want to hear
[00:34:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Jay's testimony
[00:34:17] [SPEAKER_00]: but Jay
[00:34:17] [SPEAKER_00]: let's shift to some practical tools
[00:34:19] [SPEAKER_00]: I know you mentioned
[00:34:20] [SPEAKER_00]: that people can go to
[00:34:22] [SPEAKER_00]: JayLouder.com
[00:34:23] [SPEAKER_00]: but this is an issue
[00:34:25] [SPEAKER_00]: again that we need to be aware of
[00:34:27] [SPEAKER_00]: because chances are
[00:34:28] [SPEAKER_00]: there is somebody
[00:34:29] [SPEAKER_00]: in our circle
[00:34:30] [SPEAKER_00]: or in our life
[00:34:31] [SPEAKER_00]: that is struggling
[00:34:32] [SPEAKER_00]: with mental health
[00:34:33] [SPEAKER_00]: and maybe they're isolated
[00:34:36] [SPEAKER_00]: maybe they're isolating themselves
[00:34:37] [SPEAKER_00]: and we need to be aware
[00:34:39] [SPEAKER_00]: so what are some signs
[00:34:40] [SPEAKER_00]: that we need to look for
[00:34:43] [SPEAKER_00]: and with people
[00:34:44] [SPEAKER_00]: that we know
[00:34:44] [SPEAKER_00]: or loved ones
[00:34:45] [SPEAKER_00]: who may be having these struggles
[00:34:47] [SPEAKER_00]: with mental health
[00:34:48] [SPEAKER_00]: and suicidal thoughts?
[00:34:49] [SPEAKER_02]: Well let me just say
[00:34:50] [SPEAKER_02]: first of all
[00:34:51] [SPEAKER_02]: usually there are signs
[00:34:53] [SPEAKER_02]: and not always
[00:34:54] [SPEAKER_02]: I had a very close friend
[00:34:55] [SPEAKER_02]: that I knew
[00:34:56] [SPEAKER_02]: was having some marital issues
[00:34:59] [SPEAKER_02]: that ended up taking his life
[00:35:00] [SPEAKER_02]: and if you would think
[00:35:01] [SPEAKER_02]: if anybody would have recognized
[00:35:03] [SPEAKER_02]: the signs it would have been me
[00:35:05] [SPEAKER_02]: but sometimes that's inescapable
[00:35:07] [SPEAKER_02]: but usually yes
[00:35:08] [SPEAKER_02]: there are signs
[00:35:09] [SPEAKER_02]: and there are numerous different ones
[00:35:11] [SPEAKER_02]: I think some of the prevalent ones
[00:35:13] [SPEAKER_02]: that we've seen
[00:35:14] [SPEAKER_02]: in the years of addressing this issue
[00:35:16] [SPEAKER_02]: could be anything from
[00:35:18] [SPEAKER_02]: it could be a tragedy
[00:35:19] [SPEAKER_02]: it could be the loss of
[00:35:20] [SPEAKER_02]: a loved one
[00:35:21] [SPEAKER_02]: a family member
[00:35:23] [SPEAKER_02]: I was on the phone
[00:35:23] [SPEAKER_02]: with somebody just the other day
[00:35:24] [SPEAKER_02]: two days ago
[00:35:26] [SPEAKER_02]: who was in a car wreck
[00:35:27] [SPEAKER_02]: and a young person
[00:35:28] [SPEAKER_02]: who lost a couple of their friends
[00:35:30] [SPEAKER_02]: it could be somebody that maybe who
[00:35:33] [SPEAKER_02]: is began
[00:35:34] [SPEAKER_02]: abhorrent behavior
[00:35:35] [SPEAKER_02]: somebody who maybe
[00:35:36] [SPEAKER_02]: usually would not be abusing alcohol
[00:35:39] [SPEAKER_02]: or drugs
[00:35:40] [SPEAKER_02]: or prescription medication
[00:35:42] [SPEAKER_02]: it could be
[00:35:43] [SPEAKER_02]: of course we talked about this already
[00:35:44] [SPEAKER_02]: somebody who
[00:35:46] [SPEAKER_02]: is in having mental issues
[00:35:48] [SPEAKER_02]: that normally does not have
[00:35:50] [SPEAKER_02]: those mental issues
[00:35:51] [SPEAKER_02]: we talked also
[00:35:52] [SPEAKER_02]: while ago about even isolation
[00:35:54] [SPEAKER_02]: that's not uncommon as well
[00:35:56] [SPEAKER_02]: you know there's been a theory for a long time
[00:35:59] [SPEAKER_02]: where I think some people are very reticent
[00:36:02] [SPEAKER_02]: to discuss
[00:36:03] [SPEAKER_02]: when they see someone
[00:36:04] [SPEAKER_02]: who they feel like maybe at a tipping point
[00:36:07] [SPEAKER_02]: and there's been a theory that
[00:36:09] [SPEAKER_02]: discussing suicide
[00:36:10] [SPEAKER_02]: or bringing something like this up
[00:36:13] [SPEAKER_02]: could actually facilitate that
[00:36:14] [SPEAKER_02]: but that's actually incorrect
[00:36:16] [SPEAKER_02]: one of the greatest deterrents
[00:36:18] [SPEAKER_02]: to suicidal tendencies
[00:36:19] [SPEAKER_02]: is discussing it
[00:36:21] [SPEAKER_02]: it's being open
[00:36:22] [SPEAKER_02]: it's having someone to talk to
[00:36:24] [SPEAKER_02]: and as I mentioned earlier
[00:36:26] [SPEAKER_02]: you know I had isolated myself
[00:36:27] [SPEAKER_02]: partially out of embarrassment
[00:36:29] [SPEAKER_02]: partially out of fear
[00:36:32] [SPEAKER_02]: and didn't let people know
[00:36:34] [SPEAKER_02]: but when you do see some of those warning signs
[00:36:36] [SPEAKER_02]: things that
[00:36:37] [SPEAKER_02]: don't seem to match up with somebody who you know
[00:36:41] [SPEAKER_02]: unusual behavior
[00:36:42] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean even for really young people
[00:36:44] [SPEAKER_02]: we've seen maybe not so with older folks
[00:36:45] [SPEAKER_02]: but even getting away at possessions
[00:36:48] [SPEAKER_02]: just different things that again
[00:36:50] [SPEAKER_02]: would be out of the norm
[00:36:51] [SPEAKER_02]: that just don't seem right
[00:36:53] [SPEAKER_02]: and I've even had people tell me over the years
[00:36:55] [SPEAKER_02]: they couldn't even put a finger on something
[00:36:58] [SPEAKER_02]: but they just knew that this person
[00:37:00] [SPEAKER_02]: was not their normal self
[00:37:01] [SPEAKER_02]: and it brought
[00:37:02] [SPEAKER_02]: a degree of awareness or concern
[00:37:05] [SPEAKER_02]: and so I think anytime
[00:37:07] [SPEAKER_02]: those are some of the things
[00:37:09] [SPEAKER_02]: but there can always be again
[00:37:11] [SPEAKER_02]: just unusual behaviors
[00:37:13] [SPEAKER_02]: that seem to indicate
[00:37:14] [SPEAKER_02]: that someone is not in the place
[00:37:16] [SPEAKER_02]: that they normally would be
[00:37:17] [SPEAKER_02]: that should give us concern
[00:37:19] [SPEAKER_02]: of course there are other things too
[00:37:21] [SPEAKER_02]: comments like
[00:37:23] [SPEAKER_02]: that you'll hear
[00:37:25] [SPEAKER_02]: I wish I wasn't here
[00:37:26] [SPEAKER_02]: maybe this world would be better without me
[00:37:28] [SPEAKER_02]: and I've heard people respond to that
[00:37:30] [SPEAKER_02]: by saying well you know Jay
[00:37:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I think they're just trying to get attention
[00:37:33] [SPEAKER_02]: and what I really want to say is
[00:37:35] [SPEAKER_02]: you're exactly right
[00:37:36] [SPEAKER_02]: they're trying to get attention
[00:37:38] [SPEAKER_02]: because they're hurting
[00:37:39] [SPEAKER_02]: because they're struggling
[00:37:42] [SPEAKER_02]: I know that there were even occasions
[00:37:43] [SPEAKER_02]: that I had made those comments to my mother
[00:37:46] [SPEAKER_02]: and it was kind of a sublime way
[00:37:48] [SPEAKER_02]: for me to try to get my mom to see
[00:37:50] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm in a different place than you think I am
[00:37:53] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm not just going through a phase in my life
[00:37:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm really struggling
[00:37:56] [SPEAKER_02]: so those things
[00:37:57] [SPEAKER_02]: those warnings should be taken very very seriously
[00:38:00] [SPEAKER_00]: yeah very important information
[00:38:01] [SPEAKER_00]: thank you
[00:38:02] [SPEAKER_00]: and so I want to shift too
[00:38:04] [SPEAKER_00]: to something that you frequently talk about
[00:38:08] [SPEAKER_00]: which is hope and resilience
[00:38:11] [SPEAKER_00]: a lot of people
[00:38:11] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean
[00:38:12] [SPEAKER_00]: you know it's obvious
[00:38:14] [SPEAKER_00]: there are a lot of issues
[00:38:15] [SPEAKER_00]: in our world today
[00:38:16] [SPEAKER_00]: a lot of problems
[00:38:18] [SPEAKER_00]: the younger generations are facing
[00:38:20] [SPEAKER_00]: whether that's a harder time
[00:38:21] [SPEAKER_00]: maintaining work
[00:38:23] [SPEAKER_00]: or you know problems with the economy
[00:38:26] [SPEAKER_00]: and just kind of hopelessness
[00:38:27] [SPEAKER_00]: more social isolation
[00:38:29] [SPEAKER_00]: a loneliness epidemic
[00:38:30] [SPEAKER_00]: and so there are all these issues
[00:38:33] [SPEAKER_00]: but you have talked about
[00:38:35] [SPEAKER_00]: how we need to learn
[00:38:36] [SPEAKER_00]: to maintain resilience and hope
[00:38:38] [SPEAKER_00]: through difficulties
[00:38:39] [SPEAKER_00]: and that's a tool
[00:38:40] [SPEAKER_00]: that a lot of people don't have today
[00:38:41] [SPEAKER_00]: how can we maintain
[00:38:43] [SPEAKER_00]: hope and resilience
[00:38:44] [SPEAKER_00]: through difficult circumstances
[00:38:46] [SPEAKER_02]: well I mean the first thing
[00:38:48] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean for me
[00:38:49] [SPEAKER_02]: inescapable
[00:38:50] [SPEAKER_02]: is faith
[00:38:51] [SPEAKER_02]: you know really what the turning point
[00:38:53] [SPEAKER_02]: from my life was
[00:38:54] [SPEAKER_02]: again as I mentioned
[00:38:55] [SPEAKER_02]: I had religion
[00:38:56] [SPEAKER_02]: I knew what church was all about
[00:38:58] [SPEAKER_02]: but I didn't have a genuine faith
[00:39:00] [SPEAKER_02]: and so really that was the
[00:39:02] [SPEAKER_02]: major turning point in my life
[00:39:04] [SPEAKER_02]: now again that's not to say that
[00:39:06] [SPEAKER_02]: if you have faith
[00:39:07] [SPEAKER_02]: that you can't feel hopelessness
[00:39:09] [SPEAKER_02]: you can't feel isolation
[00:39:10] [SPEAKER_02]: or you can't feel depression
[00:39:12] [SPEAKER_02]: and again on a whole other topic
[00:39:15] [SPEAKER_02]: maybe someday we could get into
[00:39:16] [SPEAKER_02]: is how many people who are believers
[00:39:18] [SPEAKER_02]: who really feel like they have
[00:39:20] [SPEAKER_02]: less of a chance to be open
[00:39:22] [SPEAKER_02]: and honest about their struggle
[00:39:23] [SPEAKER_02]: then maybe even
[00:39:25] [SPEAKER_02]: a non-believer does
[00:39:26] [SPEAKER_02]: because there's a fear that they may be
[00:39:28] [SPEAKER_02]: judged from the church
[00:39:29] [SPEAKER_02]: or what will people think
[00:39:30] [SPEAKER_02]: because for so long people
[00:39:31] [SPEAKER_02]: I felt like they needed to
[00:39:33] [SPEAKER_02]: put up a front
[00:39:34] [SPEAKER_02]: you know that hey since I'm a Christian
[00:39:35] [SPEAKER_02]: I don't struggle with these things
[00:39:37] [SPEAKER_02]: so you know I think there needs
[00:39:40] [SPEAKER_02]: to be a real awareness
[00:39:41] [SPEAKER_02]: about that as well
[00:39:42] [SPEAKER_02]: but faith for me was definitely
[00:39:45] [SPEAKER_02]: the turning point
[00:39:46] [SPEAKER_02]: when I came to the realization
[00:39:47] [SPEAKER_02]: that I did not have a personal
[00:39:50] [SPEAKER_02]: relationship with the Lord
[00:39:51] [SPEAKER_02]: and I didn't mean that when I
[00:39:53] [SPEAKER_02]: actually invited Christ into my life
[00:39:55] [SPEAKER_02]: and turned from the ways
[00:39:57] [SPEAKER_02]: that had led me astray
[00:39:59] [SPEAKER_02]: that everything became perfect
[00:40:01] [SPEAKER_02]: no not at all
[00:40:02] [SPEAKER_02]: but you know there are so many resources
[00:40:04] [SPEAKER_02]: for people who are struggling
[00:40:06] [SPEAKER_02]: and you know one of the first things
[00:40:07] [SPEAKER_02]: that I would say is
[00:40:08] [SPEAKER_02]: is that if you or someone
[00:40:11] [SPEAKER_02]: you know is struggling
[00:40:11] [SPEAKER_02]: the first thing you need to do
[00:40:13] [SPEAKER_02]: is find someone to be open with
[00:40:15] [SPEAKER_02]: somebody that you can trust
[00:40:16] [SPEAKER_02]: somebody that can be
[00:40:19] [SPEAKER_02]: available to you
[00:40:21] [SPEAKER_02]: that you could literally call on day or night
[00:40:23] [SPEAKER_02]: that you can confide in it
[00:40:24] [SPEAKER_02]: and be open and honest with
[00:40:26] [SPEAKER_02]: at the same time you know
[00:40:27] [SPEAKER_02]: there are numerous suicide hotlines
[00:40:31] [SPEAKER_02]: therapy
[00:40:32] [SPEAKER_02]: the Christian community
[00:40:33] [SPEAKER_02]: some people think that therapy
[00:40:35] [SPEAKER_02]: is something that
[00:40:36] [SPEAKER_02]: Christians don't go to
[00:40:37] [SPEAKER_02]: I think therapy is a great thing
[00:40:39] [SPEAKER_02]: and quite frankly
[00:40:40] [SPEAKER_02]: if someone were to say
[00:40:41] [SPEAKER_02]: well I can't afford therapy
[00:40:42] [SPEAKER_02]: there's many churches
[00:40:43] [SPEAKER_02]: and organizations that provide
[00:40:46] [SPEAKER_02]: free counseling
[00:40:47] [SPEAKER_02]: so these are all tools
[00:40:49] [SPEAKER_02]: that are available
[00:40:50] [SPEAKER_02]: but it begins with that willingness
[00:40:52] [SPEAKER_02]: to be open and upfront
[00:40:55] [SPEAKER_02]: and again having someone
[00:40:56] [SPEAKER_02]: that you can be open and honest with
[00:40:58] [SPEAKER_02]: and tell about your struggle
[00:41:00] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah and I think that you made such a good point
[00:41:02] [SPEAKER_00]: that I just want to reiterate too
[00:41:05] [SPEAKER_00]: don't feel like
[00:41:06] [SPEAKER_00]: you know you cannot be open about it
[00:41:09] [SPEAKER_00]: for any reason
[00:41:10] [SPEAKER_00]: but if you are a person of faith
[00:41:11] [SPEAKER_00]: if you are a Christian
[00:41:12] [SPEAKER_00]: and you're thinking
[00:41:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I'm not supposed to be struggling with this
[00:41:14] [SPEAKER_00]: we live in a fallen world
[00:41:16] [SPEAKER_00]: everybody's going to have struggles
[00:41:17] [SPEAKER_00]: so thank you for reminding us Jay
[00:41:19] [SPEAKER_00]: that we should all be
[00:41:22] [SPEAKER_00]: staying attuned to our mental health
[00:41:24] [SPEAKER_00]: and being aware of it
[00:41:25] [SPEAKER_00]: and never be ashamed
[00:41:26] [SPEAKER_00]: of reaching out for help
[00:41:28] [SPEAKER_00]: and that's what God created us for
[00:41:31] [SPEAKER_00]: is communities
[00:41:32] [SPEAKER_00]: so that we could have each other to lean on
[00:41:34] [SPEAKER_00]: and you mentioned the suicide hotline
[00:41:36] [SPEAKER_00]: that's 988
[00:41:38] [SPEAKER_00]: and you can also go to jlouder.com
[00:41:41] [SPEAKER_00]: and look at the resources
[00:41:42] [SPEAKER_00]: that he has there
[00:41:44] [SPEAKER_00]: but Jay we're almost out of time
[00:41:46] [SPEAKER_00]: but I just want to thank you so much
[00:41:47] [SPEAKER_00]: for talking about this important issue
[00:41:49] [SPEAKER_00]: on point of view today
[00:41:50] [SPEAKER_00]: and give you just a minute to tell people
[00:41:53] [SPEAKER_00]: about any specific resources
[00:41:55] [SPEAKER_00]: that you want to highlight
[00:41:56] [SPEAKER_00]: or final words
[00:41:58] [SPEAKER_02]: Well my final words would be this
[00:42:00] [SPEAKER_02]: and again I've got to go back to faith
[00:42:02] [SPEAKER_02]: because what gives me hope every day
[00:42:04] [SPEAKER_02]: what gives me confidence every day
[00:42:06] [SPEAKER_02]: what gives me a purpose and a vision
[00:42:08] [SPEAKER_02]: is my relationship with Christ
[00:42:10] [SPEAKER_02]: again doesn't mean that I don't have struggles
[00:42:11] [SPEAKER_02]: and doesn't mean I don't have adversities
[00:42:13] [SPEAKER_02]: but you know the Lord says this and
[00:42:16] [SPEAKER_02]: he said I came to give you life
[00:42:18] [SPEAKER_02]: and that doesn't mean existence
[00:42:21] [SPEAKER_02]: it means a purpose
[00:42:22] [SPEAKER_02]: it means a mission
[00:42:23] [SPEAKER_02]: it means a reason to get up every day
[00:42:26] [SPEAKER_02]: again it doesn't mean
[00:42:27] [SPEAKER_02]: that there's not going to be issues
[00:42:28] [SPEAKER_02]: and struggles
[00:42:28] [SPEAKER_02]: and at all
[00:42:30] [SPEAKER_02]: but it means that
[00:42:31] [SPEAKER_02]: he has destined you for a purpose
[00:42:34] [SPEAKER_02]: and it may not seem like that today
[00:42:36] [SPEAKER_02]: there may be people listening to this
[00:42:37] [SPEAKER_02]: they're gosh
[00:42:37] [SPEAKER_02]: you know my marriage is falling apart
[00:42:39] [SPEAKER_02]: my career is falling apart
[00:42:41] [SPEAKER_02]: my health is falling apart
[00:42:42] [SPEAKER_02]: whatever the case may be
[00:42:43] [SPEAKER_02]: but even through that
[00:42:45] [SPEAKER_02]: God can use your pain
[00:42:47] [SPEAKER_02]: and use it for a purpose
[00:42:49] [SPEAKER_02]: and quite frankly
[00:42:52] [SPEAKER_02]: while it may not seem realistic at the time
[00:42:54] [SPEAKER_02]: eventually God wants to even use your pain
[00:42:56] [SPEAKER_02]: to help other people who struggled as well
[00:42:58] [SPEAKER_00]: thank you Jay so good
[00:43:00] [SPEAKER_00]: that's Jay Louder
[00:43:01] [SPEAKER_00]: who has been with us on point of view
[00:43:02] [SPEAKER_00]: we're about to go to a break
[00:43:04] [SPEAKER_00]: but stay with us
[00:43:04] [SPEAKER_00]: because next we're interviewing Andrea Crum
[00:43:10] [SPEAKER_04]: it almost seems like we live in a different world
[00:43:13] [SPEAKER_04]: from many people in positions of authority
[00:43:16] [SPEAKER_04]: they say men can be women
[00:43:18] [SPEAKER_04]: and women men
[00:43:19] [SPEAKER_04]: people are prosecuted differently
[00:43:21] [SPEAKER_04]: or not at all
[00:43:23] [SPEAKER_04]: depending on their politics
[00:43:25] [SPEAKER_04]: criminals are more valued
[00:43:26] [SPEAKER_04]: and rewarded than law-abiding citizens
[00:43:30] [SPEAKER_04]: it's so overwhelming
[00:43:31] [SPEAKER_04]: so demoralizing
[00:43:32] [SPEAKER_04]: you feel like giving up
[00:43:34] [SPEAKER_04]: but we can't
[00:43:35] [SPEAKER_04]: we shouldn't
[00:43:37] [SPEAKER_04]: we must not
[00:43:37] [SPEAKER_04]: as Winston Churchill said to Britain
[00:43:40] [SPEAKER_04]: in the darkest days of World War II
[00:43:42] [SPEAKER_04]: never give in
[00:43:43] [SPEAKER_04]: never give in
[00:43:45] [SPEAKER_04]: never never never
[00:43:46] [SPEAKER_04]: never yield to force
[00:43:48] [SPEAKER_04]: never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy
[00:43:53] [SPEAKER_04]: and that's what we say to you today
[00:43:55] [SPEAKER_04]: this is not a time to give in
[00:43:57] [SPEAKER_04]: but to step up
[00:43:58] [SPEAKER_04]: and join point of view
[00:44:00] [SPEAKER_04]: in providing clarity in the chaos
[00:44:02] [SPEAKER_04]: we can't do it alone
[00:44:04] [SPEAKER_04]: but together
[00:44:05] [SPEAKER_04]: with God's help
[00:44:07] [SPEAKER_04]: we will overcome the darkness
[00:44:10] [SPEAKER_04]: invest in biblical clarity today
[00:44:12] [SPEAKER_04]: at pointofview.net
[00:44:14] [SPEAKER_04]: or call 1-800-347-5151
[00:44:18] [SPEAKER_04]: pointofview.net
[00:44:20] [SPEAKER_04]: and 800-347-5151
[00:44:27] [SPEAKER_04]: Point of View will continue after this