Point of View December 24, 2024 – Hour 2 : Restored

[00:00:05] Live, this is Point of View, and now, Kirby Anderson.

[00:00:20] Spending some time now in studio with a good friend, and that is Cindy Brinker Simmons.

[00:00:25] As we talk about this book, Restored, and we'll talk more about it in just a minute.

[00:00:29] Cindy Brinker Simmons is an author, businesswoman, philanthropist, really kind of a living, breathing champion of joy,

[00:00:36] but also an individual that has had to overcome a great deal of sorrow through multiple personal losses,

[00:00:42] which we'll talk about in just a minute, is walk through this with other hurting people.

[00:00:47] She is a graduate of the University of Virginia, also founded Wipe Out Kids Cancer,

[00:00:52] and you'll find a little bit more out about Maureen Connelly Brinker, the tennis foundation, because of Little Moe.

[00:00:59] But first of all, Cindy, it is just great to have you in studio.

[00:01:02] Kirby, it's great to see you again, my friend.

[00:01:04] This one really came out of your own life experiences, Restored, Reconnecting Life's Broken Pieces.

[00:01:11] We have information about you on the website, so people can go to your website.

[00:01:15] We also have a way in which people can get this in paperback or hardback or Kindle.

[00:01:20] So if they would like to read that, I would encourage people to do so.

[00:01:24] But in order to understand the book, we need to tell your story.

[00:01:26] And that first section is a story, and it is a story of Little Moe, which is your mom,

[00:01:33] who actually, to this day, has records in tennis that have never been broken.

[00:01:37] Can you tell us some of that story?

[00:01:38] That's right.

[00:01:38] Well, thank you.

[00:01:39] That's a great introduction, Kirby.

[00:01:42] Yes, when I was 12, Kirby, I was seated on a very uncomfortable church pew next to my grieving 10-year-old sister,

[00:01:48] my grieving 38-year-old dad.

[00:01:51] And we had just buried this brilliant and talented mother of ours and wife of my dad.

[00:01:56] And, Kirby, I was so confused, so heartbroken, so angry.

[00:02:01] And I thought that God was mad at me.

[00:02:04] I thought I had done something so bad, so terrible, that I was incurring the wrath of a vengeful God.

[00:02:09] And, Kirby, I would suggest and think that perhaps there are listeners out here in your stratosphere of wonderful listeners and networks that feel the same way,

[00:02:20] that they feel like they've done something, whether they've caused it or not, that have incurred this wrath, this lingering anger of a vengeful God.

[00:02:30] And they don't know how to earn it back.

[00:02:34] And that's where I parked my 12-year-old heart.

[00:02:37] And, as you said, not only was our family sorrowful and grieving, but a whole world was mourning because Mom, back in the 50s, as you said,

[00:02:46] was the well-known and adored sports tennis player number one in the world, Maureen Conley.

[00:02:53] Her nickname was Little Moe after the USS Missouri battleship.

[00:02:56] And she was the first woman to ever win the Calendar Grand Slam, which is winning all four of the majors, Australian, French, Wimbledon, and U.S. Open.

[00:03:04] She won Wimbledon three years in a row.

[00:03:05] She just was unstoppable.

[00:03:08] But, Kirby, there was one opponent that she could not defeat, and it was cancer.

[00:03:14] That's right.

[00:03:14] And that cancer came in and blew in our family.

[00:03:17] And just, it was like a vacuum had come down from the heavenlies and it sucked all of the energy and the joy out of our family.

[00:03:25] But life goes on.

[00:03:26] And so I graduated from high school and college and started a robust career in public relations and was just living large and not even really thinking about God.

[00:03:37] Although, when I was 16, the wife or the daughter of a pastor had shared about Jesus with me and had said I didn't have to earn God's love back.

[00:03:47] That he loved me with an everlasting and unwavering love and outrageous grace.

[00:03:52] So I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

[00:03:54] But then, when I came back to Dallas, amidst all these fun things, a man walked into my life named Bob Simmons, who today would have been 77 years old.

[00:04:05] Today is Bob's birthday.

[00:04:06] Right.

[00:04:07] And he captured my heart.

[00:04:09] And we married and had a wonderful son, William.

[00:04:12] And then cancer struck again.

[00:04:15] Struck again.

[00:04:16] Yes, yes.

[00:04:16] And yet, this time was different, Kirby.

[00:04:20] This time was different because I had met that God.

[00:04:23] This time was different because I knew that God didn't hate me.

[00:04:26] He wasn't angry at me.

[00:04:27] That he loved me with an everlasting love.

[00:04:29] And even though I still had a hole in my heart that I started when my mom passed away, a hole in my heart that no EKG would ever detect.

[00:04:36] And that hole grew a little larger with Bob's passing.

[00:04:40] I knew that hole was filled with Jesus.

[00:04:42] Yes.

[00:04:43] And because of that, I could choose joy.

[00:04:46] Even though my circumstances screamed a sadness.

[00:04:50] Exactly.

[00:04:51] So that's why I wrote this book.

[00:04:53] Let me, if I can, come back to just one thing that you do say early on.

[00:04:57] And that is, when your mother died, you felt like you had to earn God's pleasure.

[00:05:02] Yes.

[00:05:03] And your mother didn't want you to get into tennis, but you did anyway.

[00:05:06] So you became very competitive in tennis.

[00:05:08] Then you go to school and you became very competitive in schoolwork.

[00:05:12] And so there are listeners right now that are thinking, I've got to do all I can.

[00:05:17] I've got to be a type A personality to earn God's grace.

[00:05:21] And so in some respects, before people even get to some of the principles, even listening to your story, they can learn something about the fact that you don't need to earn your way towards God.

[00:05:31] God loves you with an everlasting love.

[00:05:34] And what I learned through this wonderful woman, the daughter of a pastor, is that there's nothing I could do more to earn his love and that my best is enough.

[00:05:43] And when you know that, Kirby, it just gives you a peace that passes all understanding.

[00:05:50] When you know that you bring your first fruits to God, but yet he loves you and you do not have to earn it.

[00:05:57] And you can't earn it because heaven, you have to be perfect to be in heaven.

[00:06:02] And and unfortunately, none of us make that cut.

[00:06:06] And that's why he sent his son, Jesus Christ, to die for us.

[00:06:09] And so that he could prepare a place for us, taking all of the sinful nature, because literally we are sinful people, as you know.

[00:06:17] And our lives are messy and they're flawed and they're imperfect.

[00:06:21] But Jesus took that on the cross.

[00:06:23] So that was such a great thing that I realized I didn't have the pressure of earning his love anymore.

[00:06:29] Sandy Brinker Simmons.

[00:06:30] And again, we're talking about the book Restored, Reconnecting Life's Broken Pieces.

[00:06:33] That first section is your story.

[00:06:36] Section two, which we're really going to camp out for because there's seven different chapters here about how to restore that.

[00:06:42] And then a final section as well.

[00:06:43] But just before we leave your story, there's one other aspect of that that might be encouraging to people.

[00:06:48] And that is I have noticed, Cindy, so many times people when they've had a hurt, they use it for God's glory.

[00:06:55] If they maybe had a crisis pregnancy center, they go and work in a pregnancy resource center.

[00:07:00] If they dealt with depression, they thought maybe I should be a counselor.

[00:07:03] In your case, cancer hit twice.

[00:07:06] And just look at what you've been able to do with the Wipe Out Kids Cancer Program.

[00:07:11] Can you talk about that?

[00:07:12] Well, yes.

[00:07:12] Thank you.

[00:07:13] When I was also sitting on that pew seat, I said someday I was 12 years old.

[00:07:17] Someday I want to do something somehow, some way to fight this cancer.

[00:07:21] I mean, it was just it was just something that was begging in my heart to do.

[00:07:26] So when I came back from University of Virginia, I did start Wipe Out Kids Cancer and then a movement started.

[00:07:31] And one other quick thing, Kirby, when Bob was diagnosed with cancer, we were given three months, three months.

[00:07:37] And as we walked out of that that oncologist office, he said he called me Sweetie Pie.

[00:07:43] I called him beloved.

[00:07:44] He said, Sweetie Pie, I don't know if I have three months.

[00:07:46] I don't know if I have three years.

[00:07:49] I don't know if I have 30 years.

[00:07:50] But from this moment forward, we're going to give all the glory to God.

[00:07:54] And that's what we did, Kirby.

[00:07:55] Even though it hurt and even though our heart was broken, even though it was difficult and disruptive at times as cancer, we gave the glory to God because people are watching.

[00:08:05] And people came to know Christ from that and were inspired by our circumstances.

[00:08:11] We're going to take a break.

[00:08:12] And when we come back, we have seven chapters we're going to work our way through.

[00:08:16] I sometimes encourage you to take some notes.

[00:08:18] You might number one to seven because we're going to talk about the real meat in this book, which are lived out of your own experience.

[00:08:25] Lots of great wisdom.

[00:08:26] And then a whole section of summary points.

[00:08:28] This could be something you could go through individually.

[00:08:31] It's something if you're a small group leader, maybe a life group leader, maybe even a pastor, you could teach on or preach on.

[00:08:37] And so I think you really benefit from our conversation today with Cindy Brinker Simmons, restored, reconnecting life's broken pieces.

[00:08:44] We'll take a break.

[00:08:45] Be back right after this.

[00:08:58] This is Viewpoints with Kirby Anderson.

[00:09:03] This is Christmas week.

[00:09:04] And so I thought we might reflect on the hymn.

[00:09:06] Oh, holy night by John Dwight.

[00:09:08] Oh, holy night.

[00:09:09] The stars are shining brightly.

[00:09:11] It is the night of the dear Savior's birth.

[00:09:13] Long lay the world in sin and error pining till he appeared in the soul.

[00:09:17] The soul felt its worth.

[00:09:19] Jesus came into the world to save us.

[00:09:21] And so we feel valuable and our souls feel its worth.

[00:09:24] Perhaps the most quoted verse in the Bible is John 3 16.

[00:09:27] It tells us that Jesus came because God so loved the world.

[00:09:30] He came so that our souls would feel their worth to God.

[00:09:34] This hymn also asked us to consider the fact that the King of Kings was born as a human infant and placed in a manger.

[00:09:41] The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger in all our trials born to be our friend.

[00:09:47] He knows our need to our weakness is no stranger.

[00:09:50] Behold your King before him lowly bend.

[00:09:53] Isn't it amazing that there were some who were willing to worship him even while merely a babe in the manger?

[00:09:59] This hymn then now talks about how we should respond to one another in humility.

[00:10:03] Truly he taught us to love one another.

[00:10:06] His law is love and his gospel is peace.

[00:10:10] Change shall he break for the slave is our brother and in his name all oppression shall cease.

[00:10:15] You know, we no longer have slavery in this country.

[00:10:19] But it is true that many people are still enslaved to various forms of sin and need Jesus as their savior.

[00:10:25] And we as believers are to model the humility that Jesus demonstrated when he stepped out of eternity into time and gave up his rights as God.

[00:10:34] This is a message we not only need at Christmas but every day.

[00:10:38] I'm Kirby Anderson and that's my point of view.

[00:10:46] For a free booklet on biblical reliability go to viewpoints.info slash biblical reliability.

[00:10:53] Viewpoints.info slash biblical reliability.

[00:10:58] You're listening to Point of View.

[00:11:01] Your listener supported source for truth.

[00:11:04] Privileged to have you in our studio today Cindy Brinker Simmons as we talk about the book

[00:11:08] Restored, Reconnecting Life's Broken Pieces.

[00:11:11] And Cindy just before we get into those seven chapters which are very well written.

[00:11:15] Thank you.

[00:11:15] At the end of each one of the chapters you have a section in which you oftentimes will have summary points.

[00:11:21] Yes.

[00:11:22] Then a takeaway question.

[00:11:23] And in this case we'll be talking about this idea of momentum.

[00:11:26] Six ways you can move forward.

[00:11:28] The way you've put this together I certainly think any individual can read through this.

[00:11:34] But I know you have been thinking about maybe even turning this into a study guide or a Bible study.

[00:11:39] And I think anybody out there looking to maybe provide encouragement to people that have gone through some really difficult dark times could really go through basically a seven week Bible study or something like that.

[00:11:51] What are your thoughts?

[00:11:52] Thank you, Kerby.

[00:11:54] Absolutely.

[00:11:55] For each of the seven chapters, the applications at the end.

[00:11:59] Because I wanted this to be real life solutions.

[00:12:01] I didn't just want to state the problem.

[00:12:03] I wanted to state the solutions as well and also give the summary points.

[00:12:08] And then a thoughtful question.

[00:12:09] It's interesting.

[00:12:10] I've had many people say they thought this was going to be a quick read, but it isn't because there's a lot to think about.

[00:12:17] So that is my next step is potentially to create a study guide, a Bible study guide or some sort of a study guide for using those applications and summary points.

[00:12:28] Yes.

[00:12:29] Well, again, one through seven.

[00:12:30] Number one is restoring momentum.

[00:12:32] You talk about this idea of being stuck on hold, stuck on zero, the need to keep moving and depending upon God.

[00:12:40] But there are some really important principles you're trying to bring out in terms of momentum.

[00:12:45] Can you explain those?

[00:12:46] Well, God doesn't want us to stay in neutral forever.

[00:12:48] I mean, when we are hit.

[00:12:50] And let me just start.

[00:12:52] The number one premise is suffering is a universal experience.

[00:12:56] We all suffer, Kirby, and none of us are immune from the bumps and bruises of daily living.

[00:13:02] It's called suffering and it is painful.

[00:13:06] So that happens.

[00:13:07] And we need to pause.

[00:13:09] We need to just take a breather, just stay still for a moment.

[00:13:14] But then God does not want us to stay in neutral.

[00:13:17] He wants us to move forward.

[00:13:18] He is a God of action.

[00:13:20] Life beckons us.

[00:13:21] So the idea is that we must put one foot in front of the other and move.

[00:13:27] And that's what I'm really trying to encourage people because that's what the scriptures say.

[00:13:31] And I always start every chapter with a story, a little story.

[00:13:36] But then I say, what does God say to do?

[00:13:39] Because this is all filled with scriptural truths.

[00:13:42] I've used about 130 to 150 Bible verses.

[00:13:45] So this is God's work.

[00:13:47] It's God's word.

[00:13:48] And so I want to emulate and just to share what God says to do in these circumstances.

[00:13:54] Again, Isaiah 43, you have that one.

[00:13:57] Forget the former things.

[00:13:58] Do not dwell on the past.

[00:14:00] And, of course, a passage very familiar to many of us in Philippians 3.

[00:14:04] Forgetting what is behind and straining forward to what is ahead.

[00:14:07] I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

[00:14:14] But one of the things that's interesting is that you take on the issue of fear because words like fear, afraid, terrified are mentioned more than 500 times in the Old and New Testament.

[00:14:27] And isn't that part of why people stay on zero?

[00:14:30] Oh, as a matter of fact, I'm skipping ahead a little bit.

[00:14:33] But I'm being a little spoiler.

[00:14:35] But in the joy chapter, I talk about joy killers.

[00:14:39] And number one, well, number two in that chapter is fear.

[00:14:43] Satan is so crafty about using fear.

[00:14:47] And mom once told me, it's a great story, about fear.

[00:14:51] She said, she told me whenever she would go on the tennis court to play.

[00:14:54] And, again, I was born well after her career.

[00:14:56] She was just a teenager.

[00:14:57] She had a horseback riding accident at 19 that cut short her career, just three meteoric careers, but she won everything.

[00:15:04] But she told me later on that when she walked on that tennis court, she approached the tennis court and her match two ways, or anybody can approach in two ways.

[00:15:13] One, you either are wanting to win or you're fearing to lose.

[00:15:18] And if you go out on that tennis court or any court, it could be the court of public opinion.

[00:15:24] It could be a boardroom, anything.

[00:15:26] If you go with fear gripping your heart, you're going to be paralyzed.

[00:15:30] You're not going to be able to make your big shots.

[00:15:32] But mom went out on the tennis court wanting to win.

[00:15:35] And so she could play with abandon.

[00:15:37] So fear holds you back.

[00:15:39] It paralyzes.

[00:15:40] And that is something that people literally allow fear to grip their hearts.

[00:15:45] And what I talk about is do things scared.

[00:15:49] Many times I'm fearful.

[00:15:51] I mean, I'm nervous about things.

[00:15:53] But because I have Jesus, I do things scared.

[00:15:57] And when I let God reign and when I let him do his thing, it's so much better, Kirby, than I could have ever done.

[00:16:05] So do things scared.

[00:16:07] Do not let fear.

[00:16:09] Do not let fear, dear brothers and sisters who are listening, do not let it grip your heart.

[00:16:13] It will not go well for you.

[00:16:14] Well, the other aspect of that is to trust in God.

[00:16:17] You know, trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

[00:16:21] With all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your path straight.

[00:16:24] It does seem to me that the answer in the Christian realm, just in sports, you trust in your ability, in your training.

[00:16:33] Here, now in the Christian life, you trust in God to recognize he knows the best.

[00:16:38] Kirby, you nailed it.

[00:16:39] If I was to literally, if you said Cindy Summary's Restored, I'd say, oh, Kirby, I could do it in two words.

[00:16:47] Trust God.

[00:16:47] Yes.

[00:16:48] And be done.

[00:16:49] I could have started this book.

[00:16:50] It would have been a whole lot easier than seven and a half years.

[00:16:52] But I could have just said, trust God.

[00:16:55] And when you trust God and you really know that he is who he says he is and that you know that he's at work, even when your heart is breaking or even when circumstances are difficult, you can move forward.

[00:17:08] Well, again, there are so many ideas and insights in each chapter, but I'm going to keep the train moving down the road.

[00:17:15] So the next chapter is Restoring Now Perseverance.

[00:17:19] And I think the two come together very well because once you are moving, you then have to persevere.

[00:17:25] Absolutely.

[00:17:25] And that's one of the things you're talking about here and the importance of knowing who's watching and that God has your full attention.

[00:17:32] Can you speak to that?

[00:17:32] Yes.

[00:17:33] I will say people are watching.

[00:17:35] When you're singing from the mountaintops, Kirby, people are watching.

[00:17:38] But when you're in the drought, when you're in those desert experiences, people are going to see where all those hallelujahs real.

[00:17:45] Were you just flapping your jowls or were you really always believing in the Lord?

[00:17:51] So definitely persevering.

[00:17:53] People are watching.

[00:17:54] And that's that's such a huge, huge ministry.

[00:17:58] Also, I think it's really important to remember one of the most important things I believe is that don't forget to remember what God has done for you in the past.

[00:18:09] We all have histories.

[00:18:10] We all have to do is look in our brief past history and see how God has rescued us.

[00:18:15] I really believe that God's goal is to rescue, redeem and restore.

[00:18:18] As a matter of fact, definitive in the word restore is redeem, repair, renew.

[00:18:25] That's really the definition of restored, repairing, renewing and renewing, repairing and restoring.

[00:18:33] That's what restore is.

[00:18:35] And so God's whole focus is rescuing us, redeeming us.

[00:18:40] And all you have to do is look in the past and see what God has done and know that he will do it again and again and again.

[00:18:46] And many times just the fact that you're standing, that you've got a pulse, you're breathing and you're standing is literally a significance to say that God was there.

[00:18:57] You still might have wounds.

[00:18:58] You still might have bruises.

[00:18:59] But the fact that you're standing shows God's outrageous grace in rescuing you.

[00:19:03] In this chapter, you also talk about celebrating discomfort.

[00:19:07] Just a minute ago, you talked about playing with fear.

[00:19:10] That was an insight again that I've never heard anybody talk about.

[00:19:13] Celebrate discomfort.

[00:19:14] God uses discomfort.

[00:19:16] You know, we all want to be comfortable.

[00:19:18] We all don't want to hurt.

[00:19:20] I mean, heavens, when you break a fingernail, that's uncomfortable.

[00:19:24] But God uses discomfort to help us move into loving and understanding and trusting him.

[00:19:34] As a matter of fact, the perfumes of frankincense and myrrh only become perfectly, perfectly fragrant when they are burned in the fire of the fire.

[00:19:50] And the fragrance then is wafted.

[00:19:53] God uses discomfort to help us also to take off layers of things that are negative, of things that can hurt us, of things that really, when it's all said and done, whether it's in relationships, that can be destructive.

[00:20:09] So being this uncomfortable is God's way of using us to then focus on him and following him.

[00:20:15] Talking about restored, reconnecting life's broken pieces, a fresh infusion of hope, a gentle reminder of God's love and goodness, a healthy dose of inspiring thought and strength to persevere, a helpful roadmap to move forward and experience God's plan and purpose, an effective way to reconcile and strengthen relationships.

[00:20:36] If you're keeping notes, we've talked about restoring momentum and restoring perseverance.

[00:20:41] Come to one of your favorite chapters, restoring joy, restoring community, relationships, compassion, purpose.

[00:20:47] It is all part of a book, which if you'd like to know a little bit more about, you can go to our website at pointofview.net.

[00:20:53] We have a place where you can certainly probably find it in your local bookstore.

[00:20:56] But if not, you can order it either in hardback, paperback or Kindle.

[00:21:01] If you say, I would really like to get a little bit more information about Cindy, well, we have that link to that as well.

[00:21:09] Brinkersimmons.com.

[00:21:10] You can also watch this little video that she's put together.

[00:21:13] And if you'd like to contact her, maybe have her come and speak, share this message.

[00:21:17] That's all at our website as well, pointofview.net.

[00:21:21] We're going to take a break.

[00:21:22] When we come back, we have a lot more to cover as we talk about Restored right after these important messages.

[00:21:31] If you have ever wondered what kind of impact you have when you give to Point of View, let me introduce you to Bill.

[00:21:40] His story is a perfect illustration.

[00:21:43] Well, I've been a supporter at Point of View since the 70s.

[00:21:48] And I appreciate the fact that truth and love are discussed equally and that God's word never changes.

[00:21:53] We have four generations in my family who have been taught these things, these truths.

[00:21:59] And the fifth generation we've just been blessed with, who I'm sure will be blessed by this ministry also.

[00:22:05] So I just appreciate the fact that it's solid, it's truthful, it's honest, and there's no changing God's word.

[00:22:12] And that is the kind of multi-generational impact you have when you support Point of View.

[00:22:19] So give today. Equip the next generation with the clarity of God's unchanging word.

[00:22:27] You can give online at pointofview.net.

[00:22:31] Or call us at 1-800-347-5151.

[00:22:37] That's pointofview.net and 800-347-5151.

[00:22:48] Point of View will continue after this.

[00:22:52] You are listening to Point of View.

[00:23:02] The opinions expressed on Point of View do not necessarily reflect the views of the management or staff of this station.

[00:23:10] And now, here again, is Kirby Anderson.

[00:23:14] Continue our conversation today with Cindy Brinker Simmons.

[00:23:16] And the book is entitled Restored, Reconnecting Life's Broken Pieces.

[00:23:20] Let me give you a couple suggestions.

[00:23:21] First of all, if you are already doing a small group, this already could be used in a small group format.

[00:23:28] Although, Cindy's talking about writing something for that.

[00:23:31] If you find yourself, as you're listening to this, say, I know somebody that would benefit from hearing this.

[00:23:36] Go to our website, pointofview.net.

[00:23:39] There's a red button there that says watch or listen.

[00:23:41] So they can either watch the interview or listen to it on a podcast.

[00:23:44] And I think that would be very helpful.

[00:23:46] And I want to come to the third chapter, Restoring Joy, which gets us into the joy killers.

[00:23:52] Oh, yes.

[00:23:53] But again, at a time when you were so wounded.

[00:23:56] And many times there are people that have such a broken heart.

[00:24:00] It's nice to know, of course, that God is for the broken hearted.

[00:24:05] But what about this idea of having cheerful confidence that you talk about?

[00:24:09] Yes, yes.

[00:24:09] And we see in Psalm 3418 that God is close to the broken hearted.

[00:24:15] And again, just to reiterate that suffering is a universal experience.

[00:24:20] So joy is something that I believe that many times we can't control our circumstances.

[00:24:30] Kirby, we cannot control our circumstances many times.

[00:24:32] But we can control our responses to our circumstances.

[00:24:36] We can choose joy.

[00:24:39] Joy is an intentional decision.

[00:24:41] And we can choose joy.

[00:24:43] And how we decide, after we have been pummeled by life's two-by-fours, how we either respond joyfully or we respond in defeat will dictate the life we live.

[00:24:57] And one of the stories within this chapter is a very disturbing story, actually.

[00:25:04] And it concerns, just very briefly, a young fellow named Alan Bolden, who was a star swimmer.

[00:25:10] And he was about to enter college.

[00:25:12] And he lifeguarded at a local pool.

[00:25:16] And his parents, Ed and Lori Bolden, would always leave the light on at night.

[00:25:20] And Alan would come home.

[00:25:22] Well, one morning, the light was still on.

[00:25:24] His bed was unmade.

[00:25:25] And two days later, Alan's body was pulled out of a lake in Fort Worth.

[00:25:33] And you talk about the grief of the unexpected.

[00:25:36] It's what I call the grief of the unexpected.

[00:25:38] Just all of a sudden, you're just slammed.

[00:25:41] And this is what Alan Bolden's dad, Ed Bolden, had to say.

[00:25:46] In front of a slew of media, he said, pain is mandatory.

[00:25:52] Suffering is optional.

[00:25:53] Pain is mandatory.

[00:25:54] Suffering was optional.

[00:25:55] And what Ed Bolden was saying, we are going to experience pain.

[00:25:59] It is just part of the fabric of life.

[00:26:02] But how you respond to that pain, because he was using suffering now as a verb, how you respond, how you react to what's just happened, will dictate whether you live victoriously or defeated.

[00:26:15] And I ended up pursuing the Bolden's to meet them.

[00:26:18] And I met Lori Bolden, who is Ed Bolden's wife.

[00:26:23] And she said, only, only by placing her faith in Jesus could she survive, because the wound was so great.

[00:26:32] And so she and Ed, they both knew that their hearts had a big hole in it.

[00:26:39] But through choosing joy, through Jesus, they put Jesus in their heart.

[00:26:45] And that's how they survived.

[00:26:47] Very profound.

[00:26:48] Well, again, each one of these chapters we could spend the whole time on, but I'll keep moving, because restoring community.

[00:26:53] You talk about we need community.

[00:26:56] And, Cindy, one of the things I oftentimes will hear people say is, what should I do?

[00:26:59] And I said, pronoun problem.

[00:27:00] What should we do?

[00:27:01] Yes.

[00:27:02] We need community.

[00:27:03] And you needed community when you lost so many loved ones.

[00:27:07] And these other individuals that you talk about in this book actually needed community as well.

[00:27:13] We're made to be in community, but sometimes we're kind of like the Lone Ranger.

[00:27:17] Absolutely.

[00:27:18] You know, life is relational, Kirby.

[00:27:20] Life is relational.

[00:27:21] And God made us to be in relationships, to be in community.

[00:27:26] We need to belong somewhere, to someone, somehow.

[00:27:29] And what community does is it undergirds us in prayer.

[00:27:33] It helps us move forward when we, again, are being pummeled.

[00:27:36] And community is so important.

[00:27:39] I have a wonderful community group that keeps me centered and will absolutely rebuke me in love when I am struggling.

[00:27:47] And those members can come to my house every week hurting.

[00:27:51] But when they leave that house, we could empty a Kleenex box.

[00:27:55] But when they leave that house, they are encouraged because the word, the encouragement is such an important word.

[00:28:03] We need to be encouraged.

[00:28:05] The Gospels, the Scripture says how important that encouragement, it strengthens our bones.

[00:28:12] And we, the word and prayer and gravitating and surrounding those who are hurting is so important in community.

[00:28:21] And, again, it infuses hope, joy, and encouragement.

[00:28:25] One of the very insightful comments here is about victims versus victors.

[00:28:30] And, again, as I minister to young kids, and even the cultural message right now is you're a victim of whatever.

[00:28:38] And you talk about the fact that if we really want to have joy and we really want to be able to move forward,

[00:28:45] many of the principles you already talked about, we need to not have this victim mentality.

[00:28:49] Absolutely.

[00:28:50] And one of the joy killers is discouragement.

[00:28:52] And, boy, Satan uses discouragement in such a mighty way.

[00:28:57] And many people just get caught.

[00:28:59] They cannot seem to move forward.

[00:29:02] It gets back to momentum.

[00:29:03] You know, all of this works together.

[00:29:04] But they cannot seem to get out of just this fray of despair and discouragement.

[00:29:13] And community is what will absolutely come and pick them up and carry them many times, carry them.

[00:29:20] And I have even felt that in my life I have gone over a finish line in many different times and different appointments and different projects.

[00:29:31] But God has been the one that's carried me.

[00:29:34] And so that's what community does.

[00:29:36] It carries us through life's toughest moments.

[00:29:38] We've been talking about community, but the next chapter is on relationships, restoring relationships.

[00:29:44] So the two come together.

[00:29:45] And I want to make sure that we did put them together because that gets us into some other issues like unforgiveness.

[00:29:53] Right?

[00:29:53] Can you speak to that?

[00:29:54] Well, Kirby, the Gospels, the very theme of the Gospel is about forgiveness.

[00:30:00] I mean, on that cross, God forgave us.

[00:30:04] The whole point of the sacrifice of Jesus is to forgive a broken humanity, is to forgive a fallen world, is to forgive people, sinful people.

[00:30:15] And that's you, me, everyone.

[00:30:18] We're sinners.

[00:30:18] And that's the very heart of the Gospel.

[00:30:20] So we must forgive.

[00:30:22] And Scripture is very, very stern about if we don't forgive others, we will not be forgiven.

[00:30:27] That causes your heart to flutter.

[00:30:30] So we must forgive.

[00:30:32] Number one, we must forgive others when they have hurt us.

[00:30:36] We must ask for forgiveness when we have offended others.

[00:30:40] But, Kirby, sometimes the hardest thing is to forgive ourselves.

[00:30:44] And there are so many people today walking wounded because they cannot forgive themselves over something they've done.

[00:30:51] And brothers and sisters, I implore you that God gave His Son, sacrificed His Son, gave up His Son for us to forgive us.

[00:31:01] And God, if He can make that sacrifice for Jesus for all of our sins, we must be able to forgive ourselves.

[00:31:08] And I will say, Kirby, I have one son, William.

[00:31:12] And as much as I love people, it would be hard for me to sacrifice that one son for anyone.

[00:31:18] And yet, God sacrificed His perfect, unblemished, glorious Holy Son for us.

[00:31:27] And that was based on forgiveness.

[00:31:30] Do you know that the crucifixion, I studied that, is the most horrible form of torture ever created by man?

[00:31:38] It was created by the Meso-Persians back and right before Jesus died.

[00:31:43] And the word excruciating comes from the word crucifixion.

[00:31:47] So, Christ died a torturous, horrific death for us because He loved and forgave us.

[00:31:57] And because of that, we need to forgive others and ourselves as well.

[00:32:01] Also, you, of course, talk about the fact that, of course, we see this in Romans 12, that we don't overcome evil with evil.

[00:32:07] We overcome evil with good.

[00:32:09] And there are times when I can certainly think of individuals that have said,

[00:32:14] we are dealing with, or sometimes on this program, when we do counseling, some horrible things,

[00:32:20] whether it's incest or rape or a variety of others.

[00:32:23] And we've had people sitting there talking about forgiveness, whether it's Max Lucado or June Hunt or a variety of others,

[00:32:29] and just simply say, if nothing else, you should forgive for your own benefit.

[00:32:33] That's right.

[00:32:34] If you carry that grudge and you try to overcome evil with evil, it's not going to work.

[00:32:38] We overcome evil with good.

[00:32:40] And, Kirby, God calls us.

[00:32:41] The most important thing is God calls us to forgive.

[00:32:44] And we are just doing God's work when we obey His word.

[00:32:48] And there is something, when you forgive somebody and start praying for them, it changes.

[00:32:54] It's a game changer.

[00:32:55] It changes everything.

[00:32:55] Because evil is horrible.

[00:32:57] And I agree, there are heinous crimes that are done, but we are called to forgive.

[00:33:02] Let's take a break.

[00:33:03] When we come back, we'll talk about the last two chapters, restoring compassion and restoring purpose.

[00:33:08] And as you can probably gather, we're going to go through all seven.

[00:33:11] So if you've been taking some notes, that is the case.

[00:33:13] There's a final chapter, which we'll talk about as well.

[00:33:15] But I certainly wanted you to benefit from just the opportunity to have in studio with us today, Cindy Brinker Simmons.

[00:33:22] Again, the book is entitled Restored, Reconnecting Life's Broken Pieces.

[00:33:27] The number of endorsements on this book are just all sorts of a who's who of people we've had on this program in the past.

[00:33:34] And I think you will certainly benefit from that.

[00:33:36] They have benefited as they've read that manuscript.

[00:33:39] And now it's out.

[00:33:40] And it is something we want to commend to you.

[00:33:42] We're going to take a break and continue our conversation right after this.

[00:33:56] You're listening to Point of View, your listener-supported source for truth.

[00:34:01] Back for a few more minutes.

[00:34:02] Privileged to have in studio with us.

[00:34:04] For a few more minutes, Cindy Brinker Simmons, Restored, Reconnecting Life's Broken Pieces.

[00:34:08] We think maybe we'll have her back when she has the study guide available.

[00:34:13] It would just be an opportunity to cover that.

[00:34:15] And maybe even know for questions you have.

[00:34:17] But I did want to cover all seven chapters.

[00:34:19] And I think we're going to be able to do it.

[00:34:20] Let's go, buddy.

[00:34:21] Chapter six is Restoring Compassion.

[00:34:23] Oh, yes.

[00:34:24] And that one is attendance versus no-shows.

[00:34:27] Yes.

[00:34:27] And what does God have to say?

[00:34:29] Because, again, it seems to me that we should be there to comfort individuals.

[00:34:34] We should be present.

[00:34:36] Yes.

[00:34:36] And there are some things that you really have shared in that particular chapter as well.

[00:34:41] Well said, Kirby.

[00:34:42] I noticed when Bob and I were on our cancer journey, we were depleted.

[00:34:47] I mean, we were in crisis.

[00:34:49] Of course.

[00:34:49] And we had friends show up that we never expected.

[00:34:53] We'd leave food on our doorstep.

[00:34:56] We'd just do things that were amazing.

[00:34:57] And then we had some friends, dear friends, that just kind of went AWOL.

[00:35:02] I wasn't upset.

[00:35:03] I wasn't angry.

[00:35:04] But because I understood because they were suffering.

[00:35:07] They were heartbroken because they knew our heartbrokenness.

[00:35:11] But yet it is important for people to know that all they have to do is they just show up and assign themselves to do something and just sit.

[00:35:22] But they don't have to say something brilliant.

[00:35:25] There was nothing a friend of mine could say that would resurrect Bob.

[00:35:28] Yes.

[00:35:29] There was nothing they could say that would bring him back to life.

[00:35:32] I wasn't expecting that.

[00:35:33] But just to show up, a friend of mine, just as an example, would leave a carton of big red.

[00:35:40] Remember that red pop that tastes like cough syrup?

[00:35:44] Well, she would leave that on our doorstep because her sister went through breast cancer.

[00:35:50] It was the only thing that her sister could take to help alleviate the nausea.

[00:35:54] And Bob was having nausea.

[00:35:55] So every time Bob went to have chemo treatments, I'd see that big red on the bench.

[00:36:04] That's compassion.

[00:36:06] That's showing up.

[00:36:07] And I just encourage people to not be invisible, but just to show up, be present, and to assign yourself to do something to help hurting people.

[00:36:17] And be willing to listen.

[00:36:18] And I remember Joe Bailey in his book, View from a Hearst, he talks about, of course, he lost so many children.

[00:36:24] He was like Job.

[00:36:25] But he says at one point he remembers when a man came over to talk to him and he shared all sorts of scripture verses and really did a lot of talking.

[00:36:35] And he said, I couldn't wait for him to leave.

[00:36:38] And then I had another friend that came over and they just sat and prayed with me and listened to me.

[00:36:44] And I hated to see him go.

[00:36:45] So sometimes we think we need to say something, but just to be present, right?

[00:36:49] Just to be present.

[00:36:51] And words of wisdom are not necessary.

[00:36:54] Just to sit and hold hands and to pray.

[00:36:57] Well said.

[00:36:58] So good.

[00:36:58] Well, one of the other chapters, Restoring Purpose.

[00:37:01] You know, those are the derailed detours.

[00:37:03] You lose your mom.

[00:37:05] Yes.

[00:37:05] You lose your husband.

[00:37:06] Or maybe you think this book's going to come out.

[00:37:09] And it takes, what, seven and a half years?

[00:37:11] Yes.

[00:37:11] Seven and a half years.

[00:37:12] And counting.

[00:37:13] Yeah.

[00:37:14] And some of the detours.

[00:37:15] But I'm thinking maybe one of those detours is a good thing.

[00:37:18] Because if this book had came out before the pandemic.

[00:37:21] Yes.

[00:37:22] Well said.

[00:37:22] The kind of issues you're addressing in this book are only now surfacing.

[00:37:26] Yes.

[00:37:26] Young people that have high levels of anxiety and depression and suicide ideation and loneliness.

[00:37:33] Yes.

[00:37:33] Your book is really a great antidote for that, isn't it?

[00:37:36] Yes.

[00:37:36] I recognize that.

[00:37:37] Because I was frustrated that it was taking so long.

[00:37:39] I'd have to put it down for three months.

[00:37:41] But then I did know that there was this thing called the pandemic that was going to be whisked in for a while.

[00:37:48] And I believe that, as you said, Kirby, so well, that this does help people who are...

[00:37:53] You don't have to...

[00:37:54] Let me just say.

[00:37:55] You don't have to have lost a spouse.

[00:37:57] You don't have to have a prodigal child.

[00:38:00] You don't have to have lost your best pet to be brokenhearted.

[00:38:04] You can be just discouraged over jobs.

[00:38:07] We were talking about jobs and the economy.

[00:38:09] Losing your job or frustrated over a relationship that's gone awry.

[00:38:14] I mean, literally, discouragement grief comes in all shapes and sizes.

[00:38:19] And I always say that grief is not a new emotion, nor is activism a new phenomenon.

[00:38:24] But again, it gets back to compassion.

[00:38:26] But when you merge the two, healing takes place.

[00:38:30] So again, when you're active, grief needs activity.

[00:38:34] And so grief comes in all shapes and sizes.

[00:38:38] So for purpose, what we're talking about, it's so important for people to know that God, it's never too late to be used by God.

[00:38:46] And God has a purpose for all of us.

[00:38:48] You know, the last section you have is God's restoration plan.

[00:38:52] Yes.

[00:38:52] And I've got to love the fact you quote from Bob Dylan of all people.

[00:38:55] Bob Dylan.

[00:38:55] But it's the idea of serving somebody.

[00:38:58] Yes, serve that song.

[00:38:58] You know, sometimes when people are depressed, they say, well, I need somebody to serve me.

[00:39:02] And I'm going, no, actually, the best therapy is for you to serve someone else even in the midst of your depression.

[00:39:08] And that's what you're talking about.

[00:39:09] That's exactly right.

[00:39:09] There is to literally be other focused, not self focused, to want to make a difference.

[00:39:15] There is great joy in that.

[00:39:17] And I talk to a lot of moms because it's to wipe out kids cancer who've lost children.

[00:39:21] And what I share with them is once they, again, pause and get through a grieving process, that's very important.

[00:39:27] It's so important to be other focused because grief needs an outlet.

[00:39:32] Right.

[00:39:32] And you don't want to get caught in a pity party.

[00:39:35] You don't want to get caught where you're focusing on your own sadness.

[00:39:39] You need to be action oriented and do things that make that you love.

[00:39:44] Do pick organizations that speak to your heart or perhaps because you've had a circumstance losing a child or it could be you love animals.

[00:39:52] SPCA.

[00:39:53] Do something that brings joy.

[00:39:55] And it's amazing, Kirby, when your other focus, how life is just beautiful and you can choose joy.

[00:40:02] We have provided a link to Brinker Simmons dot com.

[00:40:06] First of all, there's a video that people can watch.

[00:40:09] They can find out more about your book.

[00:40:11] They can, of course, schedule you to maybe come and speak or to share this message and all sorts of other things.

[00:40:17] But talk about some of the resources because you've put this together in a way that I think people will find very helpful.

[00:40:23] And so what will they find when they land on the website?

[00:40:26] And how can they maybe take this material that you've put together and use it to minister to other people in their lives?

[00:40:32] My whole prayer is that this book will help people move forward in victory and it will infuse hope and joy and encouragement to their lives.

[00:40:42] And so what I've just tried to do is you've so kindly and so wisely and so thoroughly said is provide solutions, applications for people to literally take and move forward.

[00:40:56] And it could be in some of the chapters.

[00:40:58] It's having an accountability partner.

[00:41:00] It's journaling.

[00:41:01] It's praying.

[00:41:02] It's choosing a church for young, for people just starting out in their faith walk.

[00:41:07] It's finding someone who can walk alongside them.

[00:41:11] Again, joining a community because you cannot go through this life alone.

[00:41:15] It will not go well for you.

[00:41:17] And God didn't intend that.

[00:41:18] So there are all sorts of applications, Kirby, within the book to help people move forward in victory.

[00:41:25] I just love this because, again, each chapter has summary points and sometimes there's almost a dozen of those.

[00:41:30] You always have a takeaway question.

[00:41:33] And then you have applications, sometimes six ways, sometimes eight ways.

[00:41:37] I'm looking at eight ways to choose joy.

[00:41:39] And so each one of the chapters which has verses and very significant issues can be used.

[00:41:46] And so let me, again, recommend those of you that are maybe watching online, this is what the book looks like.

[00:41:51] You can probably find it in your local bookstore, but we make it very easy for you to find it as well through our website.

[00:41:57] And, of course, she has a link there as well.

[00:41:59] You might go to BrinkerSimmons.com and contact her.

[00:42:03] And, by the way, since we've talked about wiping out kids' cancer, that's another issue.

[00:42:07] If you've had a child that has got cancer or you lost them, there is somebody that understands that issue and has spoken to that issue as well.

[00:42:16] So, again, God is for the brokenhearted.

[00:42:18] We believe this is an important issue here on Point of View.

[00:42:21] And I am just delighted that you could come and spend an hour with us today.

[00:42:24] It has been my total pleasure and honor, Kirby.

[00:42:27] Thank you.

[00:42:27] God bless you, dear brother.

[00:42:29] If you wonder about perseverance, well, it took seven years to write the book.

[00:42:33] So, again, that is something that you need to understand.

[00:42:36] But for those of you that have been taking notes, we've been talking about restoring momentum, perseverance, joy, community, relationships, compassion, and purpose.

[00:42:45] And we ended with God's restoration plan.

[00:42:47] So, we need to restore.

[00:42:49] And that's why I wanted you to know about the book.

[00:42:51] And that's why I wanted you to meet Cindy BrinkerSimmons.

[00:42:53] So, that's all we have for today.

[00:42:55] I hope that you have appreciated this conversation as we've really talked about the need for restoration.

[00:43:01] And I hope that you'll join us next time right here on Point of View.

[00:43:11] Our nation is experiencing a major realignment right now.

[00:43:16] Political and cultural frameworks are shifting.

[00:43:19] Perhaps for the first time in a long time, some things are starting to shift in a positive direction.

[00:43:26] But as this political and cultural realignment takes place, another realignment is desperately needed.

[00:43:33] A realignment to God's Word.

[00:43:36] Data shows that few Americans' worldview is aligned with biblical truth.

[00:43:41] But you can help change that by partnering with Point of View, where God's truth comes first.

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